Humanjunk
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I'm not gay, but I know how to party and I'm a fan of parades. And drinking. And I am not allowed to drink. Fuuuuuck.
about 3 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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Starting my 30 day detox tomorrow. And it's shit. My friend is throwing a YouTube party and it's Pride. PRIDE!!
about 3 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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He got it signed too!
about 16 hours ago
via Instagram
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Gift from my friend in Scotland.
about 16 hours ago
via Instagram
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Now I can't wait to see @ play here in this October!
about 17 hours ago
via Twitter for Mac
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Finally listening to the new @ record . It exceeds my greatest expectations. Shirley & the boys are in full form.
about 17 hours ago
via Twitter for Mac
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Every time I log into Facebook I feel my IQ take a giant shit.
about 18 hours ago
via Twitter for Mac
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@ Fuuuuuck. I'll have to wait until tomorrow.
about 19 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Jordan, UT
in reply to kylepford
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It's true Robin, my cape is black and doubles as a glider. But yours is cool too. It's yellow and keeps bullets away. From me.
about 22 hours ago
via Batcomputer
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If I was a billionaire I'd build a real life Stark Tower in New York. For the fans.
9:13 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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A customer has come in the past two days and made super intense eye contact with me. Probably gonna switch bodies with him or somethin.
9:11 AM May 30th
via Twitter for Android
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.@ We built this city on c0ck and balls.
9:05 AM May 30th
via web
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@: "[SCOFF] Short people."
Me: "I know. We're freaks."
9:04 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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Pants Go On This Way 101
9:02 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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Send your retarded husbands to Jeff Ortiz's School for Kids Who Can't Get Dressed Right and Want to Learn Other Stuff.
9:00 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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"I had to teach my husband how to dress."
9:00 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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"Fuuuuuccckkkinng SHIIIITTTT!" --Ben Franklin
8:38 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Shrieking Vilsack Wakes From Nightmare About Being Buried Alive By Giant Ear Of Corn
8:37 AM May 30th
via The Onion on iOS
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Alabama School System's Lone Textbook Falling Apart
8:31 AM May 30th
via The Onion on iOS
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“@: "Laptops are hard." Seriously!?” They are. Also, I don't know the alphabet.
8:24 AM May 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
from West Valley City, UT
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