hugemajority
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i'll take my bonus this year in scandanavian virgins. tax that darling.
10:10 AM Dec 9th
from web
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the heat from my groin is causing climate change. end of argument.
3:56 PM Dec 5th
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out christmas shopping. riding piers as i couldn't get the reindeer antlers to stay on the bentley.
7:44 AM Dec 2nd
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so dimbleby got assaulted by a bullock?that's what happened the last time I interviewed a PA.sandra didnt get the job.
8:56 AM Nov 12th
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apparently i'm not allowed to be on question time. just too bloody sex-y.
11:29 AM Oct 22nd
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I've been enjoying a holiday in St Lucia, advising my dear friend Amy Winehouse on where to invest her cash.
7:21 AM Jun 18th
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UKIP are like the lib dems, only the homosexuality is more repressed. call that anti-EU-ism?!Hah!
3:19 PM May 28th
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two more honorable members bite the dust - these wimps really have no stomach for a scandal!
9:47 AM May 28th
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£50k for an extension? What did she buy, a caravan?!
3:37 PM May 27th
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@ like a good port, vintage is a sign of excellence. I told Piers months ago to post that gag, but it seems he betrayed me.
10:29 AM May 26th
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in reply to markmilton
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Susan Doyle? Ghastly. It's as if Rab C Nesbit is holding Simon Cowell's favorite trousers hostage.
4:46 AM May 26th
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B'Stard is back after a bank holiday weekend peasant hunting. It's like fox hunting, only with poor people.
3:35 AM May 26th
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@ The EU has been excellent for my health - a stint as an MEP proved very lucrative!
4:37 AM May 24th
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in reply to HarryAldridge
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why is it so wrong to expect the paperboy to cross my moat without getting the paper dirty?
2:40 AM May 23rd
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@ Me!
2:39 AM May 23rd
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in reply to TimMontgomerie
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Why do poor people insist on towing their homes when it spoils the view from my Rolls' real view mirror?
3:46 PM May 22nd
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@ bait? do you expect me, Alan B'Stard MP, to sit by a river waiting for a fish to take my line when I could just go to Waitrose?
3:45 PM May 22nd
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in reply to markmilton
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still nowhere near enough followers. who do i have to bribe to beat @? cant be that hard surely,
2:47 PM May 22nd
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@ we're trying to find enough peasants to keep our moats clean, under the guise of tackling the recession
7:51 AM May 22nd
from web
in reply to toryradio
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I demand more followers. Piers!
6:32 AM May 22nd
from web
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- Name Alan B'Stard MP
- Location Haltenprice and Howden
- Bio Lover. Fighter. Largest majority in the house. Expenses consultant and not afraid to claim for it.
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