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Indonesia
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Ireland
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HPZ

  1. I like my men like I like my milk: cool, white, and Canadian #nohomo 5:34 AM Apr 7th via web
  2. unless it's a bowl of vienna sausages, don't GIS "inguinal hernia" while eating, or eat a bowl of vienna sausages #freeadvice 4:59 AM Mar 13th via web
  3. Doing some inexperienced, underqualified high-voltage maintenance at work. If I die, tell my mom I'm awesome. 4:16 PM Nov 17th, 2011 via web
  4. What's the proper past participle of "trick-or-treat?" "Trick-or-traught," "trick-or-treaten," or "childhood obesity epidemicked?" 5:32 AM Nov 6th, 2011 via web
  5. I've been busy, and I'm just catching up on the hot political issues. Forgive me if my activism is tardy, but FREE ELIÁN GONZÁLEZ NOW #elian 7:45 PM Oct 26th, 2011 via web
  6. "A whiff of these tainted amino acids could kill you," warned the Inspector. "So, nobody nose the trouble lysine." 5:21 AM Jul 15th, 2011 via web
  7. @heathred I've never wanted to retweet anything so badly as your marzipan penis. 4:57 PM Jul 11th, 2011 via web in reply to honeyonmyhead
  8. Psyched for #STS135! 7:34 AM Jul 8th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Dear Canada, I miss you. We should get together. Wanna come over for ... no, you're right, your place would be better. Happy Day! <3 #canada 12:42 PM Jul 1st, 2011 via web
  10. * Indian reservation * \IN-dee-un re-zer-VA-shun\ noun : an 8pm table for two at Tandoori Kitchen 7:02 AM May 29th, 2011 via web
  11. "It's kind of strange, something different," said the Christian about Buddhism, missing the joke. http://n.pr/hugGAn 6:36 AM Feb 8th, 2011 via web
  12. Math, it seems, is like every other subject: much more fun and interesting as an elective than as a requirement. 8:30 PM Jan 22nd, 2011 via web
  13. Heading to Rockford, Illinois for some Beefaroo. #cropyields 7:29 AM Sep 11th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Lose the 'tude, dude. 2:23 PM Aug 21st, 2010 via web
  15. I want to kiss the B-52s' pineapples. Respectively. 2:59 PM Aug 16th, 2010 via web
  16. I wonder why so many people think "I wonder..." statements are questions? 11:57 AM Aug 9th, 2010 via web
  17. Lettuce tastes bad. #lettuce 11:53 AM Aug 9th, 2010 via web
  18. @biorhythmist ACHOO #pandabacon 10:34 AM Aug 9th, 2010 via web in reply to biorhythmist
  19. Onions have asses. I know this because my water bottle smells like someone filled it with the asses of thirty onions. #botany 6:57 AM Aug 9th, 2010 via web
  20. iTunes needs Beatles like I need a hole in the head, which is a lot b/c it's where I put cheese in, and where karaoke comes out. #itunes 6:07 AM Aug 9th, 2010 via web