Hey there! howiekaplan is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving howiekaplan's updates.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

howiekaplan

I think The Snuggie has found a billion-dollar business in gag gifts. You backed the right pony, Free Booklight.9:08 PM Jul 10th from TweetDeck
@therealricker @dr_tully I once had a waitress at Hooters ask me to stop staring at her chest. AT HOOTERS. Scarred me for life.11:46 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck in reply to therealricker
"Hasta la vista, cunty" #1stdraftmovielines10:01 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck
2 things I learned from flwng @shockozulu & @robcorddry. 1- all famous ppl have Iphones. 2- Corddry has a luscious head of hair. Who knew?8:12 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck
@ecovegangal- currently shotgunning cheeseburgers from McDonalds drive-thru in a Hummer w/the windows down and A/C blasting. Slippery slope.5:39 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck
@ecovegangal Killed a bug?! You might as well start eating meat, murderer!5:36 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck in reply to ecovegangal
"I'm funny?! Funny how? Like a clown? Or like Dane Cook? Cause that motherfuckers not funny at all." 1stdraftmovielines5:21 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck
Heeeeeeeeey the-sun-just-rose-so-we -should-get-up-and-brush-our-teeth VIIIIIIIEEEEETNAAAAAAAM! #firstdraftmovielines4:57 PM Jul 9th from TweetDeck
@Marvel But those internships are for school credit only, right? No way to snag one if you're out of school?6:34 PM Jul 8th from TweetDeck in reply to Marvel
But poor people should totally pay for their own damn funerals. RT @cnnbrk: Michael Jackson memorial cost LA $1.4 mil. http://bit.ly/gb2lR4:59 PM Jul 8th from TweetDeck
Enough MJ. Oscar Meyer died! His last request -- his remains be ground up & stuffed in a casing made of his intestine. http://is.gd/1rzET4:46 PM Jul 8th from TweetDeck
Still fascinated by comic book editing. Hey @Marvel @JoeQuesada @markwaid @stephenchristy! How does one break in? (Pls RT @ anyone I missed)4:28 PM Jul 7th from TweetDeck
... some call me the octopus of loooooove...12:42 PM Jul 7th from TweetDeck
@Admut239 and you can't REALLY expect me to last to 90? With my body type and diet?11:51 AM Jul 7th from TweetDeck in reply to Admut239
@Admut239 Just spent 2 weeks trying to get through to Unmplymnt Their excuse? "We can't afford to man the phones. We're totally overwhelmed"11:49 AM Jul 7th from TweetDeck in reply to Admut239
Hope all the laid-off public workers enjoy MJ's funeral. Your LA tax dollars at work.10:51 AM Jul 7th from TweetDeck
Later, hivemind.7:43 PM Jul 6th from txt
- Oh, hey Vollunteer-Picking-Up-Flags. You guys sure put a lot of effort into your practices -YEP. WHATCHA DOIN, CARB LOADING? -... No. ......7:42 PM Jul 6th from txt
"Oh. Thanks, jogging-hivemind."7:27 PM Jul 6th from txt
OH NO ITS COOL WE'RE JUST PRACTICING FOR A CHARITY RUN!!!7:27 PM Jul 6th from txt