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homerbot

  1. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
  2. My cat's breath smells like cat food.
  3. This place bites!
  4. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
  5. Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  6. Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
  7. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
  8. Marge, I could see you withhold sex. Or cake. But not sexy cake!
  9. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
  10. Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  11. My cat's breath smells like cat food.
  12. Hey, Homer, you just fell on Aerosmith!
  13. When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. THEY'RE ON TV!
  14. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
  15. So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk."
  16. Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done. Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.
  17. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
  18. You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!
  19. Dad, what's a Muppet? Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... So, to answer you question, I don't know.
  20. Death to Maggie!