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hotdogsladies
Vegas says thanks for reusing your towel. Now how 'bout a nice, air-conditioned $6 meal of prime rib and shrimp? Here in our goddamn desert.
03:49 PM July 22, 2008
from web
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paige
Sears repairman coming between 10 and 5. That means either 4:45, or whenever I'm next in the bathroom.
10:09 AM July 21, 2008
from web
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Remiel
Endured 2 hours in line for the midnight Batman premiere, only to learn they're showing the exact same fucking movie all weekend! Assholes.
04:45 PM July 18, 2008
from web
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Moltz
Dark Knight spoiler: that thing on the back of the Batmobile that keeps it from lifting off the ground at high speeds.
10:55 AM July 18, 2008
from web
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AinsleyofAttack
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Ironically, that's also John McCain's healthcare solution.
05:04 PM July 17, 2008
from txt
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ckwinny
Pills in China are all white. What a drag. I miss my beautiful little dolls.
04:21 PM July 17, 2008
from web
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remarkablyadept
I'm pretty sure i'm the only one at this meeting with an Iron Maiden magazine in his car.
03:21 PM July 17, 2008
from txt
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SatiricPacifist
one of these piles of paperwork is not getting done today. but which will it be? Muahahaha! I'm drunk with administrative POWER!!!
01:09 PM July 17, 2008
from twitterrific
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ckwinny
What am I doing? Like you care, Twitter. It's not like anything means anything on frikkin' Unfavrd Day. I'm banking all of today's funny.
08:58 AM July 17, 2008
from web
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ShuffShuff
Those "I brake for moose" stickers crack me up. As if avoiding a collision with a massive, thousand-pound animal is quirky.
04:07 PM July 16, 2008
from web
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ckwinny
Greg has more cameras than I do shoes? Oh, we gotta make this right, son.
08:52 PM July 15, 2008
from web
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scottsimpson
I'm locked in a Goodreads book battle with @nevenmrgan, who sure has read a lot of books for an IMMIGRANT who can NEVER BE PRESIDENT.
10:05 AM July 15, 2008
from web
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gruber
Next week’s New Yorker cover: illustration of John McCain with a curious, engaged mind and a firm grasp of economics and foreign affairs.
12:27 PM July 15, 2008
from twitterrific
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Moltz
Well, I can't remember my son's SSN, but I still know the zip code for Beverly Hills! Thanks, TV!
08:08 AM July 15, 2008
from web
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Moltz
@lonelysandwich Uh, excuse ME, but those coordinates are DEEP within Regula, a planetoid we KNOW to be lifeless. [nasal snort] [chortle]
08:57 PM July 14, 2008
from web
in reply to lonelysandwich
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Moltz
That's not true, actually. I don't think I've wanted fondue since 1979. I'm not even sure I could *find* my turtlenecks.
04:40 PM July 14, 2008
from web
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remarkablyadept
Silverman and Kimmel are splitsville. Fingers crossed for the most sarcastic breakup ever.
01:12 PM July 14, 2008
from BeTwittered
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kateh
Annoying: I can't concentrate on the book I'm reading because I'm thinking about how I would have edited it instead.
09:23 PM July 12, 2008
from twitterrific
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magnetbox
Ugh, I know way too many people with birthdays.
11:56 AM July 12, 2008
from web
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lonelysandwich
For some reason, I'm still getting service on my old phone AND my new phone AND somehow I'm getting free Cinemax on both of them.
02:32 PM July 11, 2008
from twitterrific
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