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hiweslie

My string cheese isn't stringing. It looks like it's going to be one of *those* days.

Quit bossing me around, Death Cab for Cutie!
I hope that horrible smell of burning oil and rubber isn't coming from me. Oh well!
Matron of Honor needs re-branding. If chosen, do you have to wear ill-fitting cardigans and rap kid's knuckles who beg for more porridge?
The worst part about staying in hotels? Body gel.
Just moved offices to the tall, soulless building in Seattle. It's like working at the mall.
You know what's a good word to say? Mesopotamia. Or even better, Mesopotamian.
All this sailor talk and I'm only trying to buy tickets for singing muppets. See what you do to me, ticketmaster?!?!
Oh, of course you already have my credit card on file, Ticketmaster. BASTARDS!
Not only am I pissed I'm being raped by Ticketmaster, but now my palms are all sweaty b/c I have to pass the captcha in under two minutes.
Had to break up with a friend on Netflix because she was WAY too liberal with the 5-stars.Along Came Polly was cute, but it was no Election.
@EffingBoring Congrats! YAY you!
Dear Brightkite, did the CIA put you up to this?
@phylhrmnix I went to college and all I got was this graphing calculator with my Econ degree.
Does anyone still wear watches?
I just put $48 of gas in my car. I drive a Jetta!
Eating grilled pineapple with my fajitas. It's like the perfect union of sweet and charry.
Licking my wounds after a competitive Skip-Bo loss.
Kart obtained. Wii!
Why does Joe Madden wear such goddam cool glasses?