Profile_bird

Hey there! hedberg is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving hedberg's updates.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

hedberg

  1. Dogs are forever in the push up position.6:36 PM Jun 6th, 2008 from web
  2. Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, lay down some candy bars.6:35 PM May 28th, 2008 from TwitterFox
  3. A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.7:59 AM May 28th, 2008 from TwitterFox
  4. I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.8:06 PM May 27th, 2008 from web
  5. A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.12:18 AM May 15th, 2008 from TwitterFox
  6. A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.8:06 PM May 9th, 2008 from TwitterFox
  7. I think Bigfoot is blurry, That's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.8:10 AM May 7th, 2008 from TwitterFox
  8. I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."8:01 AM May 6th, 2008 from web
  9. If u find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it! Build a house. Well, I was lost but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicament.10:05 PM May 5th, 2008 from web
  • Name Mitch Hedberg
  • Bio I'm Mitch. I tell jokes.
0 Following 530 Followers