Hackney
- Santa ain't real, but the tears of the child I just told that to are.6:58 AM Jul 15th from web
- Charlie Bucket gets to tour an underground Indian temple, where he's forced into child labor: Willy Wonka and the Temple of Doom #moviecombo10:50 AM Jul 11th from web
- I clicked "like" next to your Facebook status about you "totally" crying during "Fried Green Tomatoes" because I LIKE it when girls cry.1:09 PM Jul 10th from web
- Gave the boy the "birds and bees" talk, but to make it a bit more contemporary I changed it to "the time your old man balled Megan Fox."8:27 AM Jul 9th from web
- Kanye Twitty would be a mashup I could get behind.11:06 AM Jul 6th from web
- Thought I had a case of the Mondays but the doctor says it's pancreatic cancer. Uh-oh, SpaghettiO!7:21 AM Jun 29th from web
- Any beach is nude if you're naked. Oh, don't call the cops. How do you even get reception out here, anyway? Verizon, eh? Well, gotta run!2:56 PM Jun 26th from web
- The real tragedy here is that now I'll have to hear people talking about Michael Jackson.4:04 PM Jun 25th from web
- Things I've seen today: 1.) obese twins 2.) mentally challenged man buying smokes; both were on my list of things to see before I die!10:48 AM Jun 25th from web
- Peeing on me isn't going to win you any awards. Yes, except the "Best Urination on Luke Hackney" statue. Why did I even make that award?5:25 PM Jun 24th from web
- Ed McMahon just died. Motherfucker still owes me money. Never got my check.6:35 AM Jun 23rd from web
- If I get one more bottle cap and/or gay joke thrown my way, this will be the last time I visit the old man for Father's Day.7:16 PM Jun 21st from web
- Was having a stroke of bad luck so I cut off my rabbit's left foot. Let's
just say it seems to have made my life more complicated, not less.6:28 PM Jun 15th from web
- Dudes, don't know where it came from, but an IM from a girl just popped up. She's "so horny" and lives out here! What are the odds?7:10 PM Jun 14th from web
- I promise to never call you a "cunt" in front of your parents. Again.9:36 AM Jun 14th from web
- Temporarily unsubscribing from the New York Times' "Pro Basketball" RSS feed, as they consider women's basketball to be professional.10:23 PM Jun 12th from web
- It's not as much fun following you on Twitter as it is following you in real life. Which is what I do now.11:50 AM Jun 10th from web
- You know what we should pretend to be into? Hockey.6:30 PM Jun 4th from web
- Four out of five dentists agree the fifth is a "diiiiiiiiick."7:27 PM May 25th from web
- Something tells me Hitler's tune woulda changed re: Jews if he had seen Seinfeld. Funny show. Funny, funny show.2:31 AM May 24th from web
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- Name Luke Allen Hackney
- Location East Lansing, MI
- Web http://lukehackne...
- Bio I have a lovely wife and three beautiful girlfriends.
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