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  1. ...so he ran. He was always in his dreams of falling, traveling through the sky in a blur of forever blue. Across a moment of time, forever.
  2. It is with that wrong assumption that I fall to 79, the year I was in SF. I next met someone from Buenos Aries. His friend was very wealthy.
  3. I was subdued by his house, his apparent wealth. He thought I didn't want him, at least not enough to enter him. Such a wrong assumption.
  4. He had a house in Marin, with a turret and a magnificent view. The pool alone was wonderful beyond imagination, and the drive out startling.
  5. So I moved on, went to my first bathhouse, where I met someone both interesting and intriguing, someone who would want me for something.
  6. It was not the first time my heart was broken, nor would it be the last, but it was the most striking. I had never expected to see him.
  7. I never saw him again, my older kisser. I walked by his shop many times, looked in, but didn't go in or speak to him. My heart was broken.
  8. My face grew cold, my heart broken, yet my voice steady and unaffected. I suggested to my friend, Bob, that we leave and head elsewhere.
  9. We walked into the one cool bar on Castro, and just inside the front door was the amazing older kisser, lips wrapped around another man.
  10. I took him on a tour of Castro, to all the bars and their patrons. He was just a friend; we had never had sex, never would, not even once.
  11. My friend from Seattle, the one I first lived with, to hang out with my first boyfriend who I moved to San Francisco with, he came to visit.
  12. He was an amazing kisser! I could just melt, thinking about his delights. You know, though; not once did we go out for dinner, even coffee.
  13. What a bedroom he had! There was a view of San Francisco that was exceptional. His place was on the hill above Castro, and was quite nice.
  14. He introduced me to so much: authors, artists, ideas. Others may have had more beautiful bodies, but none could compare to his filled mind.
  15. Magically, I met a very interesting man who owned a shop near Castro. It was full of art deco, art noveau; both are a favorite to this day.
  16. So there I was, my one best friend dead by his own hand, no boyfriend in sight, and no end of curiousity about what was going on at the bar.
  17. Two have left the window, two who found nothing of favor in watching me fall, or listening to my stories of days gone by in a far off land.
  18. Three more join the eleven, making a crowd of fourteen watching me out here in the empty: no spider to keep me company; no friends guiding.
  19. With those final memories of David, I fall to 80 and see eleven of you watching me, reading my words, hearing my stories, faces on glass.
  20. Or, did he simply fall off into the nothing of solid cloud, filtered moments across no time at all. Is he still there, in that nothing spot?