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GorillaSushi

  1. Out of nowhere she asks "Milkshake is a butt, right?". I fear tonight's dinner menu.about 14 hours ago from web
  2. Send me an anonymous message - http://bit.ly/3eG5Dw DO IT.about 16 hours ago from Echofon
  3. "Play hopscotch with a velociraptor." Man, this bucket-list thing is going to be harder than I thought.about 19 hours ago from web
  4. Father-in-law's outside Xmas lights are hung. Next: procuring illegal fireworks for the 4th and buying nonperishable Halloween candy.8:06 PM Nov 8th from Echofon
  5. One too many O'Douls and he's off posting topless pictures on the internet. He'll never work in this town again.9:28 PM Nov 7th from Echofon
  6. Turns out the whole 2012 doomsday scenario is caused by Wallmart, ripping space/time by bringing out the Xmas decorations earlier & earlier.4:19 PM Nov 7th from Echofon
  7. From coffee to beer in less than 20 mins. If I can go back to coffee, I will have successfully bifurcated the day. Sat. II: Weekendening.10:40 AM Nov 7th from Echofon
  8. @sista_flapjack I have a Photoshop and I know how to use it. Don't EVEN tempt me.9:32 PM Nov 6th from Echofon in reply to sista_flapjack
  9. Fresh leg tattoos are an excellent excuse to not wear pants. And suddenly you understand the intricate tattooed mural that covers my wang.7:12 PM Nov 6th from Echofon
  10. This backhoe's got 99 problems but a ditch ain't one.2:18 PM Nov 6th from Echofon
  11. I'm unshaven, hoppin' freights and swingin' a heavy bindle. No hobo.11:06 AM Nov 6th from Echofon
  12. Tony Danza's pretty boss and all but Chachi's really the one in charge around these parts.9:06 AM Nov 6th from Echofon
  13. Guess who's got one thumb and a debilitating fear of food processors. *This Guy*8:21 PM Nov 5th from Echofon
  14. @jeda_21 Your bathroom invention ideas scare the crap out of me. I suppose that's probably the intended purpose.7:18 PM Nov 5th from Echofon in reply to jeda_21
  15. A bidet... with a laser targeting system. Millionaire inventors' club, here I come.7:11 PM Nov 5th from Echofon
  16. Overheard the police commissioner's detailed plan at the coffee shop to assassinate Brett Favre. He was not a cartoon and I wasn't drinking.3:10 PM Nov 4th from Echofon
  17. @riebschlager It was last call. He promised to buy me a pony. He didn't buy me a pony.12:29 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon in reply to riebschlager
  18. "...the tooth will set you free."12:02 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon
  19. It's a long-shot but I'm really hoping one day someone will ask me why I've glued a tooth to this handcuff key. I suffer for my punchlines.11:34 AM Nov 3rd from Echofon
  20. People who take inventories for a living are counterproductive.9:58 AM Nov 3rd from Echofon