gordonshumway
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Oh, what a cute Tinkerbell costume! And a little Batman! I'm out of candy but here, have some of my crippling self-doubt.
4:03 PM Oct 30th, 2009
from web
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Barefoot and pregnant is no way to go through life. It is, however, the way to go through Walmart.
8:15 AM Oct 30th, 2009
from web
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Reading articles about what men want in a woman is like reading the job description for a position I'm not remotely qualified for.
6:38 AM Oct 30th, 2009
from web
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No, I'm not giving out candy. Instead, I'm giving you a valuable lesson about managing your expectation--OW! OH OW FINE TAKE THE KIT KATS
5:03 AM Oct 30th, 2009
from web
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For Halloween, I'm going to be a 30 year old woman who's at home alone watching Lifetime movies & crying. But the sexy version of that.
4:27 AM Oct 29th, 2009
from web
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Hell of a game, Cliff Lee. Also something something Phillatio something something.
7:38 PM Oct 28th, 2009
from web
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I didn't lick his face but that was the only downside to last week's Nick Lowe concert. Check out my full review here:
7:23 AM Oct 26th, 2009
from web
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@ Oh, thanks for that. I'll be sending you my dry cleaning bill.
4:43 PM Oct 25th, 2009
from web
in reply to Mike_FTW
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"Whooooooo! WHOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOO!!"- my impression of the person standing beside the microphone on every bootleg recording ever.
12:54 PM Oct 25th, 2009
from web
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@ Ew, I'm not sure, but chances are it's swaddled in Ed Hardy and I never want to meet it.
10:25 AM Oct 25th, 2009
from web
in reply to dantheman777
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@ I'd be lying if I said I hadn't recently had that same half of a conversation with a certain 55 pound purebred.
10:24 AM Oct 25th, 2009
from web
in reply to scottique
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"Are you being a good boy or are you being a douche?"
Is this A) Me talking to my dog or B) Pretty much anyone talking to Jon Gosselin?
4:56 AM Oct 25th, 2009
from web
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Whatever, lady. If you've never held your dog's paws & danced down the hall singing Harold Melvin songs, then you go right ahead & judge me.
6:30 PM Oct 24th, 2009
from web
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Whoever coined the phrase "It's better to give than to receive" probably had a history of STDs.
10:54 AM Oct 24th, 2009
from web
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Lawrence Of A Labia
8:50 PM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
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"So why are you moving to Washington?"
"Just for the halibut."
"Everyone is going to hate you."
2:07 PM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
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@ You're a gem. Thank you!
12:05 PM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
in reply to bessd
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Also the sooner I find employment that doesn't require a nametag, a hairnet, or handling bare feet, the sooner I'll shut up about it. Swear.
11:27 AM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
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Help! Tweet: Applying to my Seattle-area Dream Job. If anyone has any contacts at a certain major sports network, e me: thetyping@gmail.com
11:21 AM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
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There's nothing worse than a bad harmonica player.
Except maybe a good harmonica player.
11:11 AM Oct 23rd, 2009
from web
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- Name Jelisa Castrodale
- Location Under your bed.
- Web http://www.thetyp...
- Bio I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.
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