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glorygale

  1. "If she loses her teeth I'll have to eat soup for the rest of my life." #thatswhatshesaid 6:38 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  2. "They were rubbery things with electronics attached." #toddquote 11:29 PM Apr 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  3. "There was a midget at that pot shop... The one with all the sexual power tools." #toddquote 11:27 PM Apr 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  4. Really excited for all my prospective tweets... not this one.... the ones that'll start in 8 hours. #truckstopdanceparty 11:02 AM Apr 20th via web
  5. Just trying to keep up my once a month tweet quota. #success. 4:08 PM Apr 16th via web
  6. When will I win a trip to go home at noon? #notsoonenough 10:37 AM Mar 15th via web
  7. When will "Bonquisha" hold the #1 spot on 'The Top 10 Baby Names' list? #notsoonenough 10:33 AM Mar 15th via web
  8. Lots of little girls out today. 1:20 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Just heard Harry Potter say fuck. Childhood ruined. #badmouthpotter 11:12 AM Feb 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  10. I've been worthless today. But I'M not worthless. #selfesteem 5:53 PM Jan 11th via web
  11. I've been trying to tweet for weeks... and nothing. It's like being thirsty in a dry heat except I have dry tweet. #goodoneglory 12:55 PM Jan 5th via web
  12. I didn't want to lose my airline credit for $91... so I'm going to Vegas... by myself. Happy Nov. 19th to me. 5:22 PM Oct 20th, 2011 via web
  13. I'll be sitting in front of @eddieizzard in less than 5 hours. I just hope he's still looking for a prom date. #hello2003 3:53 PM Oct 19th, 2011 via web
  14. Officially a member of #District9PN. May the odds be ever with me. But really... GRAIN? BLAH CARBS. #WhatsMyDistrict TheCapitol.PN 11:14 AM Oct 13th, 2011 via Tweet Button
  15. "Ever notice a lot of black men with white hair are named Moses?" #toddwhitequote 7:22 PM Sep 17th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  16. Can someone refill the damn diet coke fridge?!?! #disgruntledemployeewhine 5:51 PM Aug 25th, 2011 via web
  17. Ordering japanese peanuts from mexico on justnuts.com. Which part of that sentence is the punchline? #mylife 2:24 PM Aug 24th, 2011 via web
  18. Cleaning out my bookshelf. My keep pile includes- Porn Stars at Home & Justin Bieber at Home. I like to know about my idols private lives. 1:03 PM Aug 18th, 2011 via web