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glessner

  1. Second degree burns from a Pop Tart? Well played, Monday. Well played. 5:51 AM Nov 23rd from Birdhouse
  2. But seriously, who takes a cab from west Philadelphia to California? 1:19 PM Nov 22nd from Birdhouse
  3. @garysucks welcome to civilization, my friend. 12:00 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie in reply to garysucks
  4. Southerners: Stop saying "might could". It's redundant. That is all. 11:57 AM Nov 18th from Birdhouse
  5. xbox twitter integration... not sure why i'd want this, but it ain't half bad. 5:20 PM Nov 17th from Xbox LIVE
  6. What a fantastic world it would be if clothing inspectors used $1 bills as their seal of approval. 3:59 PM Nov 16th from Tweetie
  7. @atsirhc You say that like it's a good thing. Racist. 7:27 AM Nov 16th from Tweetie in reply to atsirhc
  8. Surefire sign #307 that it's too early to be awake on a Monday: Washing your hands with toothpaste. 6:04 AM Nov 16th from Birdhouse
  9. Surefire sign it's too early to be awake on a Monday: Washing your hands with toothpaste. 4:58 AM Nov 16th from Birdhouse
  10. Just accidentally figured out that my shirt is thin enough to use the iPhone through. - Josh's Right Nipple. 6:10 PM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  11. What'd I miss? 3:35 PM Nov 15th from web
  12. You can learn a lot about a person if they have a ringback tone. Jason Aldean, for example, tells me you hate receiving phone calls. 5:18 AM Oct 27th from Birdhouse
  13. Evolution was especially cruel to the Peel-n-Eat Shrimp. 1:46 PM Oct 24th from Birdhouse
  14. Nobody makes me feel better about the choices I've made in my life than people who wear sweatpants to work. 11:51 AM Oct 22nd from Birdhouse
  15. Having a 30 minute morning commute might not have been the best idea for a Highway Narcoleptic. Even with coffee, I'm barely st 4:22 AM Oct 21st from Birdhouse
  16. Just caught The Wife humming the Sunday Night Football theme. Never has our home at once felt so much pride and so much shame. 6:59 PM Oct 18th from Birdhouse
  17. I, too, have my time of the month when I don't want to put up with bullshit and I want everyone to be nice to me. "Manstruation" 8:58 AM Oct 15th from Birdhouse
  18. Despite my best and most creative efforts, there is simply no fashionable way to wear a hairnet. 7:23 AM Oct 12th from Birdhouse
  19. Skittles as breath mints. That's what I'm bringing to the table. 5:10 PM Oct 9th from Tweetie
  20. It's kind of the Steelers to give San Diego some hope with a few botched plays. It's not kind, however, what they're doing to my liver. 7:58 PM Oct 4th from Birdfeed