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glessner

  1. I got a third of the way through my cup of blueberry coffee before I was conscious enough to realize it tasted like regret.about 14 hours ago from Birdhouse
  2. Recent thought: "What do you call a tweetup that's not with Twitter friends?" This is why I can't have real friends.8:01 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  3. BIRDHOUSE ZERO.7:04 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  4. There is no emotion Bloc Party can't turn into a monotonous, repetitive series of beats.5:22 AM Jul 7th from Birdhouse
  5. To the one responsible for having "If You're Happy (and You Know It)" stuck in my head when I'm NOT happy (and I know it): you'll pay.6:54 AM Jul 6th from Birdhouse
  6. Nothing like the smell of fresh struck gas line in the morning.4:43 AM Jul 6th from Birdhouse
  7. @sween But not as hard as unicycling unironically.10:07 AM Jul 2nd from TwitterFox in reply to sween
  8. I'm more than a little uncomfortable with using Track Changes in the workplace. There's an awful lot of "Accept Insertion" going on here.11:39 AM Jul 1st from web
  9. @thisisjohnny ...or go with "one of the available options"10:29 AM Jul 1st from web in reply to thisisjohnny
  10. I like my women like I like my dolphins: intelligent, but easily confused by this analogy.7:42 AM Jul 1st from TwitterFox
  11. I like my women like I like my power lines: underground within 100 feet of my house.7:40 AM Jul 1st from TwitterFox
  12. "Silverlight 2.0 may not be installed on a PowerPC" wouldn't be an informative error message even if my computer WAS a PowerPC. I <3 MS.7:47 PM Jun 30th from Tweetie
  13. Oh, iPhone, when will you have squiggly red lines to show me all my misspellings that you DON'T auto-correct? Selective asshole.8:36 AM Jun 30th from Birdhouse
  14. When preparing a résumé, should I place work experience before or after my Xbox 360 Achievement score?8:31 AM Jun 30th from web
  15. @whlteXbread DAMMIT!8:31 AM Jun 30th from TwitterFox in reply to whlteXbread
  16. The hour between 6 and 7am is an alarm clock orchestra. Elizabeth and I play the snooze buttons and the neighbors play the wall and 911.4:35 AM Jun 30th from Birdhouse
  17. WebMD Magazine: for the folks who still think nothing on the internet is credible.1:08 PM Jun 29th from Birdhouse
  18. Fact: If you live or work within 10 miles of a Sheetz, you are legally licensed to ridicule others' fast food options.12:38 PM Jun 29th from Birdhouse
  19. It's not a new joke, but yes, my dentist appointment is actually scheduled for 2:30 ("tooth" "hurty", get it?!). I'm an asshole.11:36 AM Jun 29th from Tweetie
  20. WebMD Magazine should be called Less Convenient Medical Advice Magazine.11:29 AM Jun 29th from Birdhouse
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