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gknauss

  1. That goddamned ice cream truck totally ignored me yesterday, so, yes, I think the spike-strip was justified.
  2. Metafilter: Another in a long line of brilliant successes that I was convinced couldn't possibly work. Congratulations, @mathowie!
  3. Pants? "Trou" means _pants_? Oh, man. I've been dropping the wrong thing all this time.
  4. "Hey. I'm in the shitter. Can I call you back?" "Um... Yeah." "You're on speaker, aren't you?"
  5. @poeks I tapped the icon that looks like a banana, but I don't think it's an app for making calls. It... Um... Oh, dear.
  6. Watching a post get repeatedly re-tweeted is like watching a grandparent sink into dementia. Eventually, it's all gibberish and LOLs.
  7. The problem with following people I actually know is discovering that they do all their fun stuff when I'm not around.
  8. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the fact that all these people have their own lives, and aren't just walk-on extras in mine.
  9. When you feel utterly hopeless, a hug from a small child can be the-- Hey! That little shit took my wallet!
  10. There's so much stupidity in the world, I'm way behind on my getting really, really angry.
  11. Welcome to the Awkward Silence Show! You're on the air! ... Hello?
  12. One of the dogs just dug a hole in the lawn that would perfectly fit, say, a medium sized dog. You're playing close to the edge, mutt.
  13. I bought Dodgers tickets for me and the boys, and discovered that TicketMaster has found a way to deliver mocking laughter via HTTP.
  14. If the good die young, my wife's grandmother is immortal.
  15. Wait. You told me to "kiss some ass"? Because I thought you said "kick." Well. This will make the next couple of days difficult.
  16. To you and me, it's a thousand gallon soft-sided above-ground pool. To the dogs, it's a chew toy with a surprise at the end.
  17. Saw a sports medicine orthopedist today for a rotator cuff injury. That I got while napping. _Extreme_ napping.
  18. The idea of scalping tickets to a funeral only makes sense in Los Angeles. Anybody got front-row for McNamara?
  19. I'm drunk with power! I'm also sitting in my own urine with power.
  20. You know the noise it makes when you drop a fork in the garbage disposal? That's what my kidneys sound like.