gknauss
- That goddamned ice cream truck totally ignored me yesterday, so, yes, I think the spike-strip was justified.about 5 hours ago from Birdhouse
- Metafilter: Another in a long line of brilliant successes that I was convinced couldn't possibly work. Congratulations, @mathowie!about 5 hours ago from TwitterFox
- Pants? "Trou" means _pants_? Oh, man. I've been dropping the wrong thing all this time.11:11 AM Jul 13th from Birdhouse
- "Hey. I'm in the shitter. Can I call you back?"
"Um... Yeah."
"You're on speaker, aren't you?"10:08 AM Jul 13th from Birdhouse
- @poeks I tapped the icon that looks like a banana, but I don't think it's an app for making calls. It... Um... Oh, dear.7:59 AM Jul 13th from TwitterFon in reply to poeks
- Watching a post get repeatedly re-tweeted is like watching a grandparent sink into dementia. Eventually, it's all gibberish and LOLs.6:07 PM Jul 12th from TwitterFox
- The problem with following people I actually know is discovering that they do all their fun stuff when I'm not around.12:10 PM Jul 12th from Birdhouse
- Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the fact that all these people have their own lives, and aren't just walk-on extras in mine.11:28 AM Jul 12th from Birdhouse
- When you feel utterly hopeless, a hug from a small child can be the-- Hey! That little shit took my wallet!11:22 AM Jul 12th from Birdhouse
- There's so much stupidity in the world, I'm way behind on my getting really, really angry.9:51 AM Jul 12th from Birdhouse
- Welcome to the Awkward Silence Show! You're on the air!
...
Hello?4:25 PM Jul 11th from Birdhouse
- One of the dogs just dug a hole in the lawn that would perfectly fit, say, a medium sized dog. You're playing close to the edge, mutt.1:14 PM Jul 11th from TwitterFox
- I bought Dodgers tickets for me and the boys, and discovered that TicketMaster has found a way to deliver mocking laughter via HTTP.10:17 PM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
- If the good die young, my wife's grandmother is immortal.9:06 AM Jul 10th from TwitterFox
- Wait. You told me to "kiss some ass"? Because I thought you said "kick." Well. This will make the next couple of days difficult.8:57 AM Jul 10th from TwitterFox
- To you and me, it's a thousand gallon soft-sided above-ground pool. To the dogs, it's a chew toy with a surprise at the end.7:29 PM Jul 9th from TwitterFox
- Saw a sports medicine orthopedist today for a rotator cuff injury. That I got while napping. _Extreme_ napping.9:29 PM Jul 8th from Birdhouse
- The idea of scalping tickets to a funeral only makes sense in Los Angeles. Anybody got front-row for McNamara?8:35 AM Jul 7th from TwitterFox
- I'm drunk with power!
I'm also sitting in my own urine with power.8:24 PM Jul 6th from Birdhouse
- You know the noise it makes when you drop a fork in the garbage disposal? That's what my kidneys sound like.10:29 AM Jul 6th from TwitterFox
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