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gknauss

  1. @aedison We celebrated the freedom to be even more puritanically uptight than the English. about 5 hours ago from Echofon in reply to aedison
  2. Every time I think AT&T's data network can't get worse, I'm proven wro~^n-h.$x&2a NO CARRIER about 5 hours ago from Birdhouse
  3. Can't identify the drunken embarassment at Thanksgiving dinner? Congratulations, you're famous til Christmas! about 5 hours ago from Birdhouse
  4. "...is a goddamned deadbeat, and his wife is a stupid whore. Happy Thanksgiving, you motherfuckers!" "Nobody gives a toast like grandpa." about 9 hours ago from Birdhouse
  5. "Happy Thanksgiving!" "I... I thought you were Jewish." about 9 hours ago from Birdhouse
  6. @OldHossRadbourn Just shot _at_ him? 10:42 AM Nov 25th from Echofon in reply to OldHossRadbourn
  7. Dear co-workers, You are employed at a multi-billion dollar financial management firm. LIFT THE FUCKING SEAT BEFORE YOU PISS. Thank you. 9:28 AM Nov 25th from Birdhouse
  8. You can imitate Glenn Beck, but you can't parody him -- however far you go, he's already there. And he's usually crying. 8:35 AM Nov 25th from Birdhouse
  9. Today, everyone in the world was smarter and funnier and better looking than me. Jerks. • 8:59 PM Nov 24th from Birdhouse
  10. @rdotinga I like how you make it seem like San Diego is a real place, and not something I made up in a fever dream two decades ago. 5:41 PM Nov 24th from Echofon in reply to rdotinga
  11. @rdotinga The white team passes the ball gorilla times. 6:31 PM Nov 23rd from Echofon in reply to rdotinga
  12. @sween But in thousands of words of sweaty fan-fic, there's plenty of "Jacob" in "Edward". 9:18 AM Nov 23rd from Echofon in reply to sween
  13. If your first complaint about the new "Star Trek" was that a brightly colored reptile wouldn't have evolved in the arctic: Hello, nerd. • 8:35 PM Nov 22nd from Birdhouse
  14. @jsnell Write, monkey, write! Write for our amusement! 6:41 PM Nov 22nd from Echofon in reply to jsnell
  15. Coming soon, Entirely Other Industries' line of sensual multi-person pajama bottoms: Partici-Pants®! Join in the Fun™! • 5:47 PM Nov 21st from Birdhouse
  16. @megnut My guess is Jason. 10:13 AM Nov 21st from Echofon in reply to megnut
  17. When this week's chapter of my biography is written, it will be called "The Phlegmy Officemate." 6:35 PM Nov 20th from Echofon
  18. What percentage of Sarah Palin supporters do you think went into a bookstore for the very first time yesterday? 10:03 PM Nov 19th from Birdhouse
  19. I know I owe money to the Curse Jar, goddammit! ...Shit. 9:04 PM Nov 19th from Birdhouse
  20. Oh, my God. Did I say that out loud? I meant to just think, "Fuck you, you fat piece of shit." 9:13 PM Nov 18th from Birdhouse