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girlvanized

  1. Found: Whoever you are, I approve of your grocery list. http://tweetphoto.com/5629953 about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter
  2. RT @knitterplease: Fun game while driving: put the word "anal" in front of the names of the models of cars on the road. Awesomest with SUVs. about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter
  3. He said, "Some people just plain have midget souls." And I can't stop giggling, which probably means I must, too. about 5 hours ago from txt
  4. @Blue_Crab THERE'S NO CRYING IN OFFICE POLITICS. Actually, wait... Yes. Yes, there is. about 8 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to Blue_Crab
  5. @fishheadned At this point, you're just trying to make me hate you. You are succeeding, Mr. Poop Coat. You are succeeding. about 8 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to fishheadned
  6. @GroverViolet Really, I think we should dress them up like turkeys and sic the Bumpus Hounds on them. about 9 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to GroverViolet
  7. My coworker says she's never seen "A Christmas Story" and isn't interested. I don't think I should be forced to work in these conditions. about 10 hours ago from txt
  8. For those who worried, the dog will be okay. Spouting more bodily fluids than an angry infant, but okay. 2:01 PM Nov 29th from UberTwitter
  9. Since the only thing missing from this shitty weekend was exorbitant veterinary bills, the dog ate a bunch of silica packets. 9:49 AM Nov 29th from txt
  10. Being a dirty punk doesn't mean you're hardcore; it just means you're too dumb to enjoy hot showers and comfortable footwear. 11:37 PM Nov 28th from txt
  11. Being painfully disappointed by someone just means that they're my friend. Obviously. 9:19 PM Nov 28th from txt
  12. The DJ is playing "Goodbye Horses," and it's making me want to tuck my dick between my legs and dance around in human skin. 7:55 PM Nov 28th from txt
  13. Having dinner at this place called Pu Pu Hot Pot. Cuz I like to giggle while I eat. 6:01 PM Nov 28th from txt
  14. On this gusty autumn day, I hope my food-stealing roommate appreciates the wind chimes I set up outside his bedroom window. 10:12 AM Nov 28th from UberTwitter
  15. I haven't been able to get to sleep all night and I'm just now having my first cocktail. I think I'm doing this wrong. 3:01 AM Nov 28th from txt
  16. I just said "Jesus fucking turd crapping Christ." That pretty much sums it up, huh? 6:46 PM Nov 27th from txt
  17. I'm going to bed at 4AM with massive heartburn. So, I'd say Thanksgiving was a success. 12:54 AM Nov 27th from txt
  18. No Context Theater: "That's when Madonna flipped me the bird." 11:36 PM Nov 26th from txt
  19. There are people dancing to the "Ghostbusters" theme song in the dining room. The party has officially started. 9:43 PM Nov 26th from txt
  20. I'm not drunk, I'm well hydrated. 8:59 PM Nov 26th from txt