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geneweingarten

  1. Whatever happened to "sexpot"? There used to be sexpots all over the place. I don't think I've seen the word in YEARS. about 8 hours ago via web
  2. @grouchywoman It's not just Boro! @mrdavehill does it too. about 10 hours ago via web in reply to grouchywoman
  3. @MattRobare $35, the Rosle Can Opener. Really cool. about 10 hours ago via web in reply to MattRobare
  4. Attn. Twitter humor star: Thank you for the free wit. Now please stop shamelessly humping your new book. It's getting soggy. Thanks. about 10 hours ago via web
  5. I just bought, and used, a can opener that doesn't slice into the top; it un-crimps it. I am all agape and thus such. about 11 hours ago via web
  6. RT @jaybeas I can't take credit for it (forgot where I read it), but if the game lasts more than four hours, seek medical attention. 1:21 PM May 30th via web
  7. RT @HotlineJosh Nats-Marlins pitching matchup tonight: Wang vs. Johnson. 1:18 PM May 30th via web
  8. Q: Why are dogs bad dancers? A: Because they have two left feet! HAHAHAHA. I am gloriously re-tweetable. 9:26 AM May 30th via web
  9. @moetkacik WOW. Does those come with the title? 6:41 AM May 30th via web in reply to moetkacik
  10. I am Tiki Barber's height and weigh 15 pounds less than he did as a player! I am lithe, leonine, and athletic. 5:31 AM May 30th via web
  11. My fortune cookie: "You've won at life if you love what you do and feel that it matters." Man. But for that last clause.... 5:24 AM May 30th via web
  12. .@skonesam Thanks! There’s Viscounts R Us on 4th, Viscounts Viscounts Viscounts on Main, or Viscounts Discounters on Elm. Good luck! 5:00 AM May 30th via web in reply to skonesam
  13. I'd like to be a viscount. Anyone have any connections? 3:44 AM May 30th via web
  14. @patrickhuss Hm. Not very good. 2:56 AM May 30th via web in reply to patrickhuss
  15. We chat at noon EST right here. wapo.st/K0KX3y. One lady fearlessly discusses her robust sex life. 7:09 AM May 29th via web
  16. @jaltcoh Ah, thanks. I never actually knew where it came from. I'll credit it tomorrow when the poll is discussed in my chat. 3:13 PM May 28th via web in reply to jaltcoh
  17. @yohansen5b Because the headline was better for purposes of Twitter. 6:33 AM May 28th via web in reply to yohansen5b
  18. Miami. Yawn. -- Cops Kill Naked Man Eating Other Man's Face. (tx, @gangrey) tampabay.com/incoming/miami… 6:09 AM May 28th via web
  19. @sueNaustin Noted. What's bullshit, though -- his position or my condemnation of it? 5:44 AM May 28th via web in reply to sueNaustin
  20. Repeating: Tuesday's the chat. Here's the poll. Only one question, but you gotta be honest. live.washingtonpost.com/chatological-h… 5:27 AM May 28th via web
  • Name geneweingarten
  • Location Washington, D.C.
  • Bio Washington Post columnist, epistemologist, enthusiast of excreta-related humor. My tweets represent ONLY the views of The Post. Personally, I disavow them.
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