Profile_bird

Hey there! geneweingarten is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving geneweingarten's updates.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

geneweingarten

  1. Analog technology Hall Of Fame, #6 all-time: The Zippo lighter. Other nominations for top ten?
  2. Twitter soul-searching: If you're following the same number of people who are following you, you must ask yourself a painful question.
  3. Neoplasm = cancer. Pleonasm = verbal cancer.
  4. I just scored 89 runs on the Orbitz "Swing for the Fences" game. All ladies who now wish to have sex with me please submit names, etc.
  5. Obama unfairly busted for alleged ass-gaze. Video confirms it WAS an ass-gaze. But it was a genteel one, with plausible deniability. Props.
  6. Back of hand: Women's pointers rise higher than ring fingers. Men, the opposite. If you don't match this, your genitalia need an overhaul.
  7. To whomever chronically misuses "who" and "whom": Here is a good rule of thumb, from a pro. It is always "who." Always. Thank you.
  8. I can't look at the word "going" and see it as anything other than what happens when a bell gets hit with a mallet, and your head's inside.
  9. Hm. @stevebuttry just tweeted live from his colonoscopy. Cannot help but note that his name is what we call a "situational aptonym."
  10. Also, "Catholic." It looks like cat-holic, a condition in which one compulsively accumulates cats.
  11. "Nowhere" looks like "now here," which makes Nowheresville sound like a happenin' place.
  12. "Coworkers" looks like "cow orkers." It bothers me. Cows are God's creatures. They should not be orked.
  13. Rachel Maddow has just tweeted this: "Awesome backgrounder on Uighur sitch by former TRMSer Preeti Bhattacharji" I add: dsvz qkjrm srimw!
  14. SOLEDAD O'BRIEN LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON!
  15. I was going to tweet that the past pluperfect of tweet is twat, but I have discovered this observation has already been twat.
  16. You know what would be a great name for a dog? "Whee! Whee!" A French poodle could be "Oui Oui."
  17. I have been reading online "Comments." CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR KOOK.
  18. Okay, RobCorddry changed his avatar because of complaints it was too disgusting. His new one now IS more disgusting than mine.
  19. Back from US Capitol watching annual patriotic display of inebriated young men with exposed underpants yelling USA! USA! Also, fireworks.
  20. What do we think Sarah did? 'Cause I'm thinking it's gonna be bad.