geneweingarten
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Christmas-tree vendors are MUCH less nervous when female dogs like my Murphy stop by for a sniff. Male dogs get 'em all tense and jumpy.
about 1 hour ago
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Re Google's mysteries solved, you probably would prefer the correct url:
about 5 hours ago
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All of Google's great mysteries solved!
about 6 hours ago
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-- In which we develop a fart test to distinguish male Olympic athletes from females.
8:10 AM Nov 23rd
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Disturbing Thought of the Month: Is it illegal to yell "Allahu Akbar" in a crowded theater?
3:27 PM Nov 21st
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Convict Them on Mug Shot Alone, Vol. IV Accused of throwing darts at people in bar, defecating in parking lot.
9:26 AM Nov 19th
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One necrophiliac asks another necrophiliac "How's your new relationship going?" Second necrophiliac says, "Not good. She split on me."
7:27 AM Nov 19th
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What did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip.
9:20 PM Nov 18th
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I really respect women. If I were a gynecologist, I would administer ma'am-ograms.
7:07 PM Nov 18th
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Palin calls Obama's economic policy "back-assward." It's a totally upfucked way to try to hide a vulgarity.
1:44 PM Nov 18th
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"People" says Johnny Depp is the sexiest man alive. Johnny's lucky this guy's dead.
9:17 AM Nov 18th
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Jean-Paul Sartre = er, just anal rape
9:11 AM Nov 18th
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Jean-Paul Sartre -- n., just a pale rear. (voila, an anagram!)
6:56 AM Nov 18th
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Yes, good point, @. Hell is other people's Trending Topics.
6:27 AM Nov 18th
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If this thing works, tomorrow we'll try .
6:26 AM Nov 18th
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Let's hijack Trending Topics! Can smart people bust into the moronosophere? Today only, add to your tweets. Pass it on.
6:22 AM Nov 18th
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Spoiler alert: "2012" is about the Earth getting drowned under 200 billion tons of inane cinematic movie cliche. (Gad, that film was bad.)
7:44 PM Nov 14th
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This column contains the following line: "It was a completely inappropriate habit, like a peignoir on a nun."
1:36 PM Nov 14th
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Has anyone with a brain and/or a life ever contributed to any "Trending Topic"? I just went in there; lost 40 IQ points in 12 minutes.
6:50 AM Nov 14th
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To the many people who asked: Old Mike, the dog my daughter was treating for sugarless gum consumption... survived. He's fine.
5:55 PM Nov 13th
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- Name geneweingarten
- Location Washington, D.C.
- Bio Washington Post columnist, Philosopher, Epistemologist, Enthusiast of Excreta-Related Humor
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