fuzzysquid
- I just spotted someone rocking a SOUL PATCH all dot com 1.0-style! I feel like the guy who found the ivory-billed woodpecker9:54 AM Jul 17th from web
- I mean I love to eat I just don't want to be the kind of guy that cares whether or not the cocoa dusting his truffle is organic fair trade7:27 PM Jul 15th from Tweetie
- God I feel like such a twat when I go to whole foods7:02 PM Jul 15th from Tweetie
- Dear girl who grabbed my arm when I was comically indecisive on which muni car to board: I wasn't rejecting you, there really was no room :(3:12 PM Jul 14th from web
- UHM my cousin talks to my friends way more than she talks to me. JEALOUS8:18 PM Jul 13th from web
- @chrisno Perhaps the lesson for all of us in this is that one ought not smear things one finds randomly in elevators on one's self8:17 PM Jul 13th from web in reply to chrisno
- This interview with former CIGNA PR Chief is killing me. And you. Literally. http://www.pbs.org/moyers/j...9:57 AM Jul 13th from web
- I just got told off, by a guy that I let cut in front of me in traffic? Is it opposite day? Or just retard day6:03 PM Jul 12th from web
- How the fuck did you pants dial me. You have an iPhone. There are no buttons.7:37 PM Jul 10th from web
- it may be a personal flaw that I value comedy more than I value getting laid, but you probably have HPV anyway2:26 PM Jul 7th from web
- Oh goddamned europeans and their wonky date formats. This expired on June 10th, not October 6th!!1:49 PM Jul 7th from web
- @hadaly I... understand all of those words separately... but...?5:06 PM Jul 6th from web in reply to hadaly
- What do you call: lime, mint, basil and strawberries muddled w/ sugar + tequila? Not a riddle; I need a name for this. And maybe triple sec11:41 PM Jul 5th from web
- eets nodda tumah12:41 AM Jul 3rd from web
- I'm going to get RSI from facepalming2:48 PM Jun 30th from web
- me: Perhaps I should have brought someone who would NOT likely vom at dinner! her: You don't know anyone like that.12:14 PM Jun 28th from web
- Uuuh. Cabbie just asked ME how much the ride would cost.10:25 PM Jun 26th from Twittelator
- Completely busy and completely underutilized. Unfortunately, I don't think I *could* actually care less.3:02 PM Jun 26th from web
- How many years can a jar of branston pickle stay in the fridge before ah who am I kidding I'm going to eat it anyway MAMASAY MAMASA MAMAKUSA6:33 PM Jun 25th from Tweetie
- There seems to be a lot of mirth about MJ's passing but my memory will be of the man who gave us: smooth criminal, billie jean, THRILLER3:20 PM Jun 25th from Twittelator
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