Profile_bird

Hey there! fullsteve is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving fullsteve's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

fullsteve

  1. Is anything better than a cancelled meeting? It's like finding an extra hour of life. Sometimes I schedule meetings just to cancel them.
  2. We experience daylight savings time every year. And yet, every year, I think it's so weird when it gets dark before 6:00pm.
  3. What if I put the recipient's address as the return address and didn't use a stamp? Isn't that a major loophole in the postal system?
  4. I used to be addicted to hand sanitizer. To me, H1N1 is like placing a bottle of top shelf liquor in front of an alcoholic.
  5. On my first attempt, I always put my fitted sheet on the wrong way. On my second attempt, it's still wrong. How is that possible?
  6. They say money can't buy happiness. But money can buy a boat. You ever seen an unhappy person on a boat? Not possible.
  7. I wonder if Purell released the Swine Flu into our world.
  8. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  9. As a man, I can't imagine anything worse than not being able to carry in all of my grocery bags in one trip.
  10. The Hydroseals play for kickball immortality tonight. I have been eating glass all day in preparation.
  11. Why is it, that no matter how many hours of sleep you get overnight, waking up at 6:30 in the morning is still so difficult?
  12. No matter how old I get, or how many times I've done it previously, nothing confuses me more than filling out tax forms. Do I claim 1? 2? 7?
  13. I wish I did more interesting things with my life so I could Tweet about them.
  14. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.
  15. Is Sarah Palin some cruel joke being played on the United States? If so, it's not funny.
  16. You may disagree, and that is your right as an American, but I truly believe this: Murderers should be punished for killing people.
  17. Sometimes I wish I was dead. No, wait. Not me...you.
  18. Boyd, when you go to the men's room, you'll see a sign saying "Gentlemen." Pay no heed...go right in. There's no room that says "Scoundrel."
  19. Christopher Day is probably one of the most colorful characters I've ever met. He's green with envy and has a yellow streak down his back!
  20. Bradley Wise has a lot of well-wishers. And a lot of them would like to throw him down one. A well. They want to murder him in a well.