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fliving

  1. Did you know? When you let people step all over you, you should ask them to take off their shoes, because you're Asian.
  2. Did you know? Someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and...no, just kidding. That won't happen for you.
  3. Did you know? Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.
  4. Did you know? Hiding your shameful music under a different name on your iTunes only makes you more shameful.
  5. Did you know? Eating your entire huge meal that could feed almost three people will be your only accomplishment today, so enjoy it.
  6. Did you know? Death is now fraudulent too, at http://blogbituary.blogspot.com.
  7. Did you know? If you love someone, you shouldn't talk to them, because later, when you're not in love, what you said is just embarrassing.
  8. Did you know? God will help you through this extremely minor trial in your life, the way He helped all those starving kids in Africa.
  9. Did you know? Rock bottom is probably just marshmallows. Delicious marshmallows.
  10. Did you know? The nice thing about unemployment is you can be an unemployed anything. Like an unemployed US president. Or clown thing.
  11. Did you know? Being happy about falling in love is like being happy that you'll be hit by a pointy train, probably by the end of the day.
  12. Did you know? Well, that's no surprise.
  13. Did you know? www.fraudulentliving.com is the only website that will both ruin and completely destroy your life?
  14. Did you know? The best way to ensure you never get raped is to be willing to have sex with absolutely anyone.
  15. Did you know? Finding out you're allergic to everything around shouldn't make you panicked so much as vindicated.
  16. Did you know? The 4th of July was invented to prove you can never live up to society's expectations of how much fun you should be having.
  17. Did you know? You didn't cry when your best friend in junior high died, but you bawled like a little girl when Michael Jackson did.
  18. Did you know? Smoking pot doesn't make you paranoid. It's the people trying to get you that does that.
  19. Did you know? Not Twittering about the Iran election now makes you look like an ignorant asshole. Which you are, but don't make it obvious.
  20. Did you know? Twittering brings you one step closer to god, but only because god doesn't exist.