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fistsoffolly

Watching the Tour de France makes me realize just how much the US needs to sprinkle some charming medieval ruins throughout the countryside.less than a minute ago from web
I just watched a program on North Korean refugees, and (hand to god) all of them dressed more stylishly than me.about 12 hours ago from web
An unexamined life may not be worth living, but an over-examined life is unlivable. Or so I'm learning.about 16 hours ago from web
Hi @tweeteorites Please enable timelines for me on http://tweeteorites.com/ !8:56 AM Jul 8th from web
I'm not sure, but I think I almost had an honest-to-god creative idea. I pray that's just the first trickle of a crumbling dam.8:52 AM Jul 2nd from web
Just woke from an anxious dream where I played homewrecker with @badbanana. Being bad never felt so funny...and strangely tense.5:23 PM Jun 30th from web
@riebschlager It worked! You, Sir, are extremely powerful.5:58 PM Jun 27th from web in reply to riebschlager
@EntropyAS I don't think insurance plans are required to cover preexisting death complaints--so please drive extra carefully.9:24 PM Jun 26th from web in reply to EntropyAS
@califmom And I was thinking my day couldn't get any better because I found a bag of secretly stashed marshmallows. This is such great news!12:17 PM Jun 25th from web in reply to califmom
The AccuWeather plug-in on my browser just told me that self-immolation might be the more comfortable choice given this week's forecast.6:29 AM Jun 24th from web
Telling a person with Lupus that you know what Lupus exhaustion is like even though you don't have Lupus = Death Wish12:41 AM Jun 24th from web
The Vee Dees #coolbandsmadeuncool5:57 PM Jun 23rd from web
I've thought about this from every angle and there is really no way around it -- the idea of for-profit health insurance is immoral.4:47 PM Jun 23rd from web
@califmom My mom would combine whatever was around and then give it a geographical name: Bolivian Meatloaf! Kansas Hotdogs! Tuna Timbuktu!7:14 PM Jun 22nd from web in reply to califmom
Whew. Father's Day call to dad accomplished. Today may mark the first day in years that I've spoken to both my parents in a 24 hour period.5:51 PM Jun 21st from web
@Balut Please say installing land mines. Or training your attack dog, perhaps. Anything but cleaning.11:13 AM Jun 21st from web in reply to Balut
@Balut The very notion that such a situation is possible has kept me awake many a night. I think there is a 45% chance I'd still deny entry.1:10 AM Jun 21st from web in reply to Balut
@TBMimsTheThird I hereby post-date this "Yay!" for two weeks in the future.10:09 PM Jun 20th from web in reply to TBMimsTheThird
You know you have a bad relationship with your mother when the best imaginable outcome of any encounter is détente.10:30 AM Jun 20th from web
All around me, people are living their lives, yet I'm frozen in this anxious nightmare and I know I'm dreaming, but I can't wake up.10:01 AM Jun 20th from web