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fischjazz

  1. I find myself resenting the lowest common denominator.
  2. Trying to lower my placeboic intake, like a good little masochist.
  3. It's okay, I studied Swine Latin in high school.
  4. I just burnt my fingers so badly, it made me pissed at metaphors that downplay literalism.
  5. I think everything is a clue.
  6. Novelty is the patron saint of sarcasm.
  7. I'd like to see simile and metaphor get in a fight to the death.
  8. My fingers seem to have become codependent, since the mittens.
  9. Some tweets are just reminders to buy milk.
  10. The best word to describe the holiday season? Glow-joy.
  11. Next year, my mother will speak at International Society for the Study of Time's annual convention. I told her I would attend theoretically.
  12. Amateur Killer Seeks Professional Undertaker
  13. The word of the day is "semi-professional."
  14. Junior college students write so adverbedly.
  15. Every time I get the Death Card, mom tries to explain why it's actually a good thing.
  16. A sober thought told thru a wasted mouth should be off-limits to mockery.
  17. Bob Dylan's Xmas album sounds more like a Muppet soundtrack.
  18. I'd like to see Herringbone and Houndstooth get in a fight to the death.
  19. Why do they call them "Dutch Angles?" Do they not have necks in the Netherlands?