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If you drink until you can't remember whether your wife can lock you out of the bedroom, odds are you will get the chance to find out.12:19 AM Jun 3rdvia Twitter for iPhone
I'm going to write Alien fanfic, file off the serial numbers, and release as a best-seller titled "Fifty Shades of Giger."9:32 PM Jun 2ndvia Twitter for iPhone
Party guest left the fan on in the bathroom. Not quite gauche (or drunk) enough to say "Why do you think we have a scented candle in there?"9:22 PM Jun 2ndvia Twitter for iPhone