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FernieCommaAlex

If someone offers you a wicker chair to sit in, it means they think you're a real piece of shit. 8:04 PM May 29th via TweetDeck
calehartmann I'd rather watch, "Sorry, I Thought I Could Dance." 3:17 PM May 29th via web Retweeted by FernieCommaAlex and 21 others
If the West Side of LA was located on one of Saturn's moons, I would have the exact same relationship to it that I do now. 3:24 PM May 28th via web
Dre and @instantdeborah just hanging out. instagr.am/p/LH5gYcskGS/ 1:29 AM May 27th via Instagram
@laurenpdot this is excellent news! 3:35 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to laurenpdot
Hooray for holiday weekends! instagr.am/p/LEsSWlMkJO/ 7:36 PM May 25th via Instagram
Ugh, I hate when an audience is super prudish. I'd you don't want me to go blue, don't invite me to your grandma's funeral! 5:11 PM May 24th via TweetDeck
Until very recently I thought Pau Gasol was a wine. 2:55 PM May 22nd via web
@nicwegener Those are the only type of limericks that I like 4:53 PM May 21st via web in reply to nicwegener
@nicwegener Is it a limerick?! 4:50 PM May 21st via web in reply to nicwegener
Nothing is less interesting than the Webbys. 4:44 PM May 21st via web
Hmm. I wonder if Daenerys from Game of Thrones wants her dragons back. I guess there's no way to tell. 12:23 AM May 21st via web
It breaks my heart that right now, someone somewhere is really excited to see Battleship tonight. 7:51 PM May 18th via TweetDeck
People who think matte black cars look cool are the reason we're a fading empire. 5:33 PM May 18th via TweetDeck
@drewtarver Don't think I've forgotten how you behaved yesterday. You need to back the f off. 12:39 PM May 18th via web
suzi_barrett Schnauzers are moustaches wearing a disguise. 12:38 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by FernieCommaAlex and 1 other
@drewtarver you think you're fancy? Psh. 4:40 PM May 17th via TweetDeck in reply to drewtarver
@drewtarver SHUT UP 4:02 PM May 17th via web in reply to drewtarver
I'm a terrible singer. Don't believe me? Come see me be a guest in Diamond Lion, Friday at 11! losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/performances/v… 4:02 PM May 17th via web
Just saw a pipe-smoking old man sneeze and shoot his pipe out of his mouth like a rocket. So yeah, today is already a good day. 9:26 AM May 17th via TweetDeck

Name Alex Fernie
Location Los Angeles
Web http://ferniecomm...
Bio I perform at Upright Citizens Brigade, write for Funny or Die and drink milkshakes. Now you know me.