fauxhawkward
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Dear retail gods, have mercy on me today.
11:57 AM Dec 18th
from txt
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Orange slice fights at asian restaurants leave you smelling like household cleaners.
6:55 PM Dec 14th
from txt
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all violists made the same decision as kids: we're not asian enough to be violinists nor secure enough to be dragging a cello around school.
7:08 PM Dec 12th
from web
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for @: flashy belt buckles are for guys what deep-Vs are for women. you can't help but look but you don't want to get caught.
10:07 PM Dec 10th
from web
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jimmy fallon actually makes a pretty convincing woman. but then again he was rocking a NJ accent, the standards weren't exactly high.
9:56 PM Dec 10th
from web
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No, i would not like a free 4 -wheeler with the purchase of a truck. I don't need 8 wheels of redneck glory.
8:55 PM Dec 9th
from txt
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Coffee: wake you up. Clean you out.
12:47 PM Dec 9th
from txt
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Betty crocker, aunt jemima and uncle ben are always no-shows at family dinners.
12:27 PM Dec 9th
from txt
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@ I am so super excited for you and Katie! I'm still hoping that Mia is born with full sleeves.
9:58 AM Dec 9th
from web
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atlanta doesn't have potholes, they have meteorite impact sites.
8:36 PM Dec 8th
from web
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apple reveals the iCHEAT...in case you've ever wanted to amass scandalous text messages to prove an illicit affair, there's an app for that.
8:35 PM Dec 8th
from web
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I'd be okay with the world ending if the apocalypse took that "I've Got a Feeling" black eyed peas song with it.
10:02 AM Dec 7th
from web
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.07 may be great for pencil lead refills, but not for toilet paper ply. TP should have numbers before the decimal
5:03 AM Dec 7th
from web
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what's worse: the disproportionate number of girls on 16 & preg. with southern drawls or the fact that I've actually watched any episodes?
7:28 AM Dec 6th
from web
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...they should rename it "average-people-who-don't-get-paid-to-be-drunk" somewhat energetic drink.
7:03 AM Dec 6th
from web
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ROCKSTAR energy drinks falsely advertises. there's NO cocaine or over inflated egos in the ingredient list.
7:00 AM Dec 6th
from web
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ladies, the bottom half of your outfit should never be shared by male ballerinas. unless you're planning on pliéing, put on some pants.
9:29 PM Dec 4th
from web
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Do vegans take offense at being called honey?
5:22 PM Nov 29th
from txt
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Pepto Bismol should sponsor the day after thanksgiving and Twilight because both make me fairly nauseous.
9:46 AM Nov 28th
from txt
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"He seems bright & well adjusted, but what do you expect for the son of a candlemaker & a chiropractor?"
10:03 PM Nov 26th
from txt
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- Name valarie elizabeth
- Location gypsy
- Web http://www.myspac...
- Bio i take pictures, take chances and take-out.
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