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FakePewResearch

  1. Importance to wine purchase decision: Year (6%); flavor (8%); price (32%); cool label (54%) #WineStats
  2. Favorite celebrity winemakers: Francis Ford Coppola (72%); A.J. from The Sopranos (21%); Ghost of Jimmy Cagney (7%) #WineStats
  3. Reactions To Wine Tasting: Crisp, with a smooth aftertaste (41%); bland and pedestrian (38%), you think yer better'n me?! (21%) #WineStats
  4. Best served from: A cask (11%), a bottle (34%), a box (27%), strained through pantyhose smuggled in by a guard (28%) #WineStats
  5. I never drink: Wine (100%); anything that isn't your blood (also 100%) #WineStats
  6. On our cheese plate: Gouda (36%); Brie (31%); Gruyere (25%); Whiz (7%), Easy (1%) #WineStats
  7. Best way to drink white wine: Chilled (21%); Ice cubes (7%); way the hell away from my mother-in-law (72%) #WineStats
  8. Red, Red Wine: Makes me feel so fine (50%); Keeps me going all of the time (50%) #WineStats
  9. Favorite California Wine Country: Napa Valley (36%); Paso Robles (23%); Huntington Beach Olive Garden (41%) #WineStats
  10. Odds of using correct glass for wine type: 2 in 5. Odds of caring after third glass: 0
  11. Appendages used to crush grapes: Feet (77%); Hands (20%); Other (dongs) (3%) #WineStats
  12. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," that is: All (6%); bullshit (31%); so Raven (55%) #PoetryStats
  13. Rage against: The dying of the light (12%); the machine (18%); people who don't watch "Community" (70%) #PoetryStats
  14. Do I dare to eat: A peach (14%); my coworker's lunch (27%); at Golden Corral (51%) #PoetryStats
  15. This is the way the world ends: Bang (38%); whimper (53%); wang (9%) #PoetryStats
  16. Things: fall apart (42%); fall together (39%); are happening this exciting new Fall season on NBC! (19%) #PoetryStats
  17. Let be be: Finale of seem (24%); prelude to was (31%); it (40%) #PoetryStats
  18. Starving (21%); hysterical (33%); naked (46%); signing a TV deal with Bravo (98%) #PoetryStats
  19. Shall I compare thee to: A summer's day (27%); my dead mother (19%); a Doritos Locos Taco (52%) #PoetryStats
  20. In the rooms the women come and go talking of: Michelangelo (40%); Michael Fassbender (60%) #PoetryStats