fakemongo
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Anyone have a favorite online source for laser-resistant beryllium cat exoskeletons? Already tried Etsy.
about 12 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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People say "You're using taxpayer money to build a giant space laser!" like it's a bad thing.
7:43 AM Dec 1st
from web
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Took advantage of today's fantastic doorbuster sale at A. Schwab's. I've been meaning to replace my doorbusters for months.
5:00 PM Nov 27th
from Birdhouse
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Workmen are here to install city hall's new Ten Commandments sculpture. I mean the Zambodian Commandments. Oh God, not those other ones LOL.
10:20 AM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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I don't want to spoil anything, but people in the future are total dicks.
4:35 PM Nov 23rd
from web
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Mongo from the future? More like, ROBOT Mongo from the future! Nice try, Future Reptiliods.
7:10 PM Nov 21st
from web
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On the advice of Mayor Mongo from the Future, I have disbanded the Time Travel Action Committee.
7:46 PM Nov 18th
from web
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Just appointed my new Time Travel Action Committee. Told them I need some fresh ideas on my desk by no later than June 1973.
5:31 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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The AI has been neutralized.
6:55 PM Nov 16th
from web
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Tried to have lunch at Britling's Buffet in Raleigh, but apparently it's been closed for well over two decades. The city council enrages me!
5:02 PM Nov 16th
from Birdhouse
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Well, Jimmy Olsen, I guess that depends on what you mean by "barricaded in your office."
7:26 PM Nov 15th
from web
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Think of all the little Draconian children who won't get to ride the lunar waterslide this year. Was it worth it, NASA?
10:02 AM Nov 13th
from web
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T.G.I.F.!
7:38 AM Nov 12th
from Birdhouse
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Want to end daycare van tragedies in Memphis? Start at the source. From now on, driving a van is punishable by death. BOOM. Fixed.
7:19 PM Nov 11th
from web
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Feeding COGICs to the Eel People will buy us a little time. Now I have to deal with an AI problem. I'm thinking hard reboot.
9:40 AM Nov 10th
from web
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Of course "To Serve COGIC" is a cookbook. Don't you Earthlings ever watch your own TV? Now get in the damn spaceship and start marinating!
1:17 PM Nov 9th
from web
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Busy day loading COGIC members into "evacuation saucers".
10:17 AM Nov 9th
from web
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How many times do I have to deny rumor that animal shelter busts are political payback for pet vote? Mayor Mongo cares, OK?
8:22 PM Nov 5th
from web
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Contemplating my first Mayoral Decree. Which sounds better: Naked Thursdays or Naked Sundays?
10:36 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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Odd. Awoke this morning to find nary a shred of post-Halloween toilet paper strewn about the royal lawn. Had to roll the place myself.
6:53 PM Nov 1st
from web
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- Name P. Mongo
- Location Memphis
- Bio Lord High Mayor of Planet Memphis. Problem Solver.
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