fakelewisblack
It has been way too cold this winter, I mean th-th-th-the temperatures have been UNGODLY, where the FUCK is global warming when you NEED IT!
| We're the only country that - that tells the rest of the world, on a nearly constant basis, that we're the greatest country on Earth. |
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| All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. |
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| Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. |
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| Because, if you were in an office, and there was someone there, who came in every day and said; "I'm the greatest fucker here! . . . |
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| And that is a little fuckin' obnoxious! And they know it's obnoxious. |
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| We're the only country that tells the rest of the world, on a nearly constant basis, that we're the greatest country on Earth. |
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| The most important part of travel, is when you come home. Because, that's when you see your country with new eyes. |
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| Oh great. It's my birthday. |
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| "I wouldn't have spent that year in college." Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE! |
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| Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go - |
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| Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." |
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| I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea'... but I flunked that course. |
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| The economy goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, nobody knows why the fuck it happens. |
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| These guys believe that a 350 billion dollar tax cut will stimulate the economy, and they are full of shit. |
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| The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!" [Boston traffic.] |
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| When people say: "That George Bush, he's a great leader." I wonder, where can one find a drug that would make one so delusional? |
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| Today's really gonna suck... BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE SMALLPOX! |
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| And for all we study about health, we know nothing! Is milk good or bad? . . . . . . I rest my case! |
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| And then there's the Homeland Security system, they had it color-coded, like we're in fucking elementery school! |
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