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fakejonathan

  1. E.C. to Oracle today: "We object to your acquisition of Sun. Oracle to E.C. in press release: You are fucking clueless!
  2. Who would you rather hire as a speaker-- Jonathan or Fake Jonathan?
  3. I keep hearing that rap song on the Southwest commercial? "Fags fly free" WTF?
  4. Time for concessions to close the deal; we'll just give all future MYSQL revenue to the EC. Do they have to declare Lunch Money?
  5. Thinking it's time to RIF a couple thousand politically active Belgians.
  6. Hey E.C., the Press knows you're just pawns of IBM and SAP.
  7. Not good-- my Old Lady figured out that I haven't been to the office since JavaONE.
  8. Think you've got it bad? This week Oracle replaced my limo with a rickshaw.
  9. Considering a new career in free porn.
  10. Saw my face on a milk carton today.
  11. Ice Queens Fail to Impress Each Other: http://bit.ly/1oTWoH
  12. Oracle needs to cave and let MySQL go. My new food cart biz will probably have more revenue than those losers, anyway.
  13. In case you haven't figured it out already, I'm not in charge any more.
  14. As soon as this Oracle deal closes, I'm using my parachute to launch my own Maui Wowi franchise.
  15. I'll pay $10 Million to anyone who can double MY performance. What is 2 X FREE ?
  16. Hey, European Union, how about you motherfuckers do the "Yo, I'm really happy for you & Imma let you finish."
  17. The true measure of my leadership has never been more apparent.
  18. IBM is behind the delay in the Oracle-Sun acquisition. Pricks! http://au.sys-con.com/node/...
  19. I wonder if Purgatory is like this???
  20. Good thing my Oracle tag-along dwarf has a badge that still works.