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fakejohnpiper

  1. Would Jesus spank his children? He does. But foreigners he stabs. (Rev. 19:15)
  2. RT @fakeplanter: i have a moleskine // Better get that looked at.
  3. White people be tripping
  4. I was pretty confident about this weekend's kumite until I saw Chong Li
  5. @fakeplanter Who are you? Girls shouldn't be pastors
  6. Also: Ask Pastor @fakejohnpiper: "Why do you abominate the werewolf movie?" Because God hates it. http://tinyurl.com/yz8yvxh
  7. Werewolves eat people. Hosea 5:7
  8. @NotMattChandler I gave up the picture show when "The Sting 2" stole my three dollars.
  9. 36 idolatry days left till Christmas. Which you'll probably also be idolatrous on.
  10. Psych! "Then the LORD said, 'Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?'" (Gen. 18:17).
  11. No, I don't want some "cool ringtones." I don't even know what that is
  12. Real Piper leads off this Q&A w/ affirmation of my awesomeness. http://ow.ly/BZiD And he's correct: I am not Ludacris. Keep guessing, John!
  13. God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him. But he also kinda digs it when u turn down that infernal racket #teenagers
  14. Also born today 1945, Neil Young: "Keep on rockin' in the free world."
  15. @mhenslee Don't start none, won't be none
  16. Isn't retail therapy just self-medicating idolatry? Blow torches are on sale at Home Depot, btw. Just sayin'.
  17. No. No. No. My friend, @fakepastormark. http://tinyurl.com/yg8rcz2
  18. @dscottp I heard that! ;-)
  19. I just dropped some knowledge on you. Blog at will, haterz
  20. Is anyone really buying Snuggies? Put a blowtorch in their face; that will warm them up. Then set the Snuggie on fire with it. 1 Hez. 2:8