fakejasonboyett
- Headed out to disinfect my pigs. I only WISH that were a metaphor.12:29 PM Apr 30th from web
- Give a man a sandwich and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to track jungle cats with a spear and he will likely get seriously injured.9:46 AM Apr 21st from web
- Turns out "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is just a saying. Would have been helpful to know during that emergency surgery.6:09 AM Apr 16th from web
- I try to say something profound/mystical in almost every conversation. That way, when I die, there's a good chance my last words = awesome.2:42 PM Apr 14th from web
- While technically you CAN bolt together two machetes to make scissors, the people at the ribbon-cuttings are never as into it as you are.12:27 PM Apr 14th from web
- Just finished a 3-mile run. Cold and windy outside, so I did it in my dining room. Only 12,437 laps around my table!8:15 AM Apr 7th from web
- One of my biggest mistakes in life? Eating that lamb-and-onions churro in Monterrey in 1999. Sometimes I still hear the weeping of my colon.10:29 AM Apr 3rd from web
- Fading in and out of consciousness. TOTALLY didn't see that diving board. Then again, the municipal pool is not the best place to Jet Ski.10:10 AM Apr 3rd from web
- Just learned a valuable lesson: Fish oil is best taken as an internal supplement, rather than applied externally as a lotion.11:16 AM Apr 2nd from web
- For those of you thinking, "Huh, that Conficker worm was kind of a non-event" I have one thing to say: You're welcome.10:36 AM Apr 2nd from web
- The pilot replaced my parachute with a self-inflating raft. April Fools! he shouted as I plummeted to earth. Good thing I landed in a river.1:15 PM Apr 1st from web
- Might as well reveal this today: I am not a fictional character in @jasonboyett 's imagination. I am real.11:03 AM Apr 1st from web
- Well, that was a nice rave. Still cleaning bubbles out of my hair and, oddly, everything I see is tinted pink. But still: awesome.5:13 AM Mar 26th from web
- Next week I turn 34. For the third time. Don't ask. I can't answer, due to the non-disclosure agreement those scientists made me sign.7:05 AM Mar 25th from web
- In moral crisis, some ask What would Jesus do? In danger, some ask What would MacGyver do? In both cases I ask: What would Mr. Belvedere do?6:41 AM Mar 25th from web
- Everyone loves the smell of freshly cut grass. No one loves the smell of freshly cut koala. Please discuss.1:22 PM Mar 17th from web
- Just turned Oprah down.11:53 AM Mar 12th from web
- When I lose things, I always check with the gypsy vagabonds who live in our basement. They're not thieves; I just forget stuff around them.7:17 AM Mar 12th from web
- Re: Madoff pleading guilty. Just realized they've been saying PONzie scheme. Not FONZIE scheme. I'd wondered what Henry Winkler did wrong.6:16 AM Mar 12th from web
- They tell me that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. That's true. You also can't teach an old dog to touch-type, because of its paws.5:28 AM Mar 12th from web
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- Name Fake Jason Boyett
- Location The Imagination
- Web http://blog.jason...
- Bio Like the real Jason, only lots better
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