fakechucknorris
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Superman actually has two weaknesses: Kryptonite and a roundhouse kick from me.
5:58 PM Nov 2nd
from web
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There is no effect I didn't cause.
5:33 PM Sep 28th
from web
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I am not God, but I beat him in poker.
1:04 PM Aug 19th
from web
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I frequently donate blood to the Red Cross. Just never my own.
3:38 PM Jun 25th
from web
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I am the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
10:05 PM Mar 17th
from mobile web
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I only have one hand. The upper hand.
6:25 AM Mar 13th
from web
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I once got a 100% on a calculus exam by writing violence for every question. I solve all problems with violence.
6:43 PM Jan 9th
from web
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I once thought I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I quickly realized I was standing between two mirrors.
10:55 AM Dec 22nd, 2008
from web
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Twitter HIJACKED me and called ME fake.... I know where twitter lives...
6:50 PM Nov 24th, 2008
from web
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Both McCain and Obama have asked me to be their vice president. Don't they know the only government I believe in is a Chucktatorship.
6:21 PM Aug 21st, 2008
from web
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I don't have a sleep number, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Which you will never see, cause I'll kill you first.
6:40 PM May 30th, 2008
from web
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My dog picks up after me.
7:11 AM Apr 29th, 2008
from web
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Pink may be the new black, but I am the new Guitar Hero.
8:31 PM Apr 9th, 2008
from web
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I get my toast out of the toaster with a fork.
8:26 PM Apr 9th, 2008
from web
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I have a 5G iphone.
6:44 AM Mar 31st, 2008
from web
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When google has a question, they "norris" it.
7:36 AM Mar 5th, 2008
from web
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I know the last digit of pi.
4:08 PM Feb 25th, 2008
from web
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I have my own line at the DMV.
2:08 PM Feb 20th, 2008
from web
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When Huckabee is president, guests will stay in the Norris bedroom.
5:29 PM Feb 12th, 2008
from web
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Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for me.
3:39 PM Feb 11th, 2008
from web
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