fakechucknorris
- Superman actually has two weaknesses: Kryptonite and a roundhouse kick from me.5:58 PM Nov 2nd from web
- There is no effect I didn't cause.5:33 PM Sep 28th from web
- I am not God, but I beat him in poker.1:04 PM Aug 19th from web
- I frequently donate blood to the Red Cross. Just never my own.3:38 PM Jun 25th from web
- I am the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.10:05 PM Mar 17th from mobile web
- I only have one hand. The upper hand.6:25 AM Mar 13th from web
- I once got a 100% on a calculus exam by writing violence for every question. I solve all problems with violence.6:43 PM Jan 9th from web
- I once thought I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I quickly realized I was standing between two mirrors.10:55 AM Dec 22nd, 2008 from web
- Twitter HIJACKED me and called ME fake.... I know where twitter lives...6:50 PM Nov 24th, 2008 from web
- Both McCain and Obama have asked me to be their vice president. Don't they know the only government I believe in is a Chucktatorship.6:21 PM Aug 21st, 2008 from web
- I don't have a sleep number, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Which you will never see, cause I'll kill you first.6:40 PM May 30th, 2008 from web
- My dog picks up after me.7:11 AM Apr 29th, 2008 from web
- Pink may be the new black, but I am the new Guitar Hero.8:31 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from web
- I get my toast out of the toaster with a fork.8:26 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from web
- I have a 5G iphone.6:44 AM Mar 31st, 2008 from web
- When google has a question, they "norris" it.7:36 AM Mar 5th, 2008 from web
- I know the last digit of pi.4:08 PM Feb 25th, 2008 from web
- I have my own line at the DMV.2:08 PM Feb 20th, 2008 from web
- When Huckabee is president, guests will stay in the Norris bedroom.5:29 PM Feb 12th, 2008 from web
- Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for me.3:39 PM Feb 11th, 2008 from web
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