FakeAPStylebook
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Electoral College - Not a college, but a cabal of shadow-people who elect the president and control global finance.
about 3 hours ago
from HootSuite
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"Hacker" simply means "a person who is skilled with computers." To describe a computer criminal, use "Linux user."
about 5 hours ago
from HootSuite
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"Niggardly" is just asking for trouble, so really, just don't.
about 7 hours ago
from HootSuite
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@: Please see our section "Stuff That Will Never Happen to You as Long as You're Making a Journalist's Salary."
about 7 hours ago
from web
in reply to cfCollision
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@: A representative from the Candle Makers' Guild informs us that Chanukah starts with C if we know what's good for us.
about 8 hours ago
from web
in reply to sarklei
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Make a Lorena Bobbitt reference every few years to maintain an audience for your Lorena Bobbitt references.
about 9 hours ago
from HootSuite
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@ "Expat" is jargon and should not be used unless specifically referring to people no longer named Pat.
about 10 hours ago
from web
in reply to pbump
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@ We do not respond to questions from the powerful anti-turkey burger lobby.
about 11 hours ago
from web
in reply to zup2u2
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Scientists are always "baffled," never "intrigued," "curious," or "not giving a shit about this Bigfoot evidence."
about 11 hours ago
from HootSuite
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@ If you're like Blair, then no. If you're like Serena, then yes. If you're like Jenny, just shut up already.
about 11 hours ago
from web
in reply to BethanyDaigle
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Italicize words to give your story that gangsta lean.
about 13 hours ago
from HootSuite
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Use "can of whup-ass" only, as whup-ass is not sold in jars, squeeze tubes or resealable bags.
3:09 PM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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When interviewing Bill Clinton, remind him that he owes us ten bucks.
2:07 PM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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Remember, "Frisbee" is a brand name. For generic versions of the toy, use "frisbee."
11:02 AM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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@ Why the hostility? The staff always says nice things about YOU.
9:41 AM Dec 8th
from Echofon
in reply to IsaacWood
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There is no hyphen in "postpartum depression." Those are reserved for real, male diseases.
9:05 AM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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@ Avoid complicated year-to-year dollar conversions by driving readers away with long screeds about the gold standard.
9:00 AM Dec 8th
from web
in reply to josecastillo
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All mentions of Beyonce should be followed by at least three "hominas."
7:05 AM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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Note the party affiliation of all members of Congress except independents. Call them "loose cannons who don't play by the rules."
5:02 AM Dec 8th
from HootSuite
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If spelling out an acronym such as WTF or FUBAR, be sensitive to readers who dislike cursing by writing "fuck" in a whisper.
3:01 PM Dec 7th
from HootSuite
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- Name Fake AP Stylebook
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