fabjim
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After surgery to remove a hemorrhoid, my movements feel like I'm slowly pushing a baked potato through a screen door.
9:25 AM Nov 14th
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My movement tonight reminded me of the way right wing conservatives are treating moderate Republicans - like utter steaming crap.
9:40 PM Nov 3rd
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In the Bahamas, my movement is slow, lazy and stupid, like most of the people.
12:55 PM Oct 28th
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If you have a movement in comedy club, just remember - the people are not laughing at you at this particular moment.
10:25 PM Oct 16th
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During a painful movement while hearing Adam Lambert singing the theme from "2012," I screamed simultaneously with him, on pitch.
7:25 PM Oct 15th
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Upon hearing that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize and conservatives are crapping in their pants, my movement was appropriately peaceful.
11:17 AM Oct 9th
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Today I am certain that I saw a vision of the Virgin Mary in my movement. I photographed it and send it to the Family Research Council.
2:37 PM Oct 8th
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My movement in an airport was so noisy I apologized to everyone, like Maureen Stapleton in "Airport" after her husband's bomb exploded.
7:58 PM Sep 30th
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Since I'm in Miami, my movements have had a sassy margarita, salsa and avocado with tabasco kick. Perfect for cleansing. Arriba arriba!
6:44 PM Sep 22nd
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If I could, I would like to honor the Sept. 12 March on Washington by having a huge bowel movement in Glenn Beck's face.
10:16 AM Sep 13th
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I'm on my way to Europe, so with the time change and food, I look forward to 10 days of messed up movements.
6:54 AM Aug 28th
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the rave reviews i am getting are making me very regular.
12:54 AM Aug 16th
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I almost had a movement during my show. Hail Immodium.
2:27 PM Aug 5th
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Having a movement in a large handicapped stall is the closest I get to feeling like I have an office.
6:47 AM Aug 2nd
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This evening's movement was accompanied by a loud report, almost musical, like a '66 Chevy engine without a muffler playing "12th St. Rag."
10:06 PM Jul 30th
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It's pouring in New York, the perfect time to take a break and have a long, satisfying movement while reading Vanity Fair.
12:08 PM Jul 29th
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My movement today was in so many tiny parts it looked like the Stockholm archipelago, with 24,000 islands and islets, at midnight.
11:59 AM Jul 20th
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Watching the Sotomayor hearings makes me want to have a movement in Sen. Jeff Sessions' redneck lap.
9:20 AM Jul 14th
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My movement today was in three parts, like "The Lord Of The Rings," but thankfully not as long.
11:30 AM Jul 12th
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My movement today was so slow I thought, when the hell did I eat Elmer's Glue?
4:30 PM Jul 9th
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- Name Jim David
- Location New York City
- Web http://www.jimdav...
- Bio The most beloved comedian on the panet today.
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