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Codes for other countries

Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Country Code For customers of
Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
  • 90903 Zain
New Zealand
  • 8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States
  • 40404 (any)

expiratejess

  1. Long weekend diet. instagr.am/p/K6FusRJ9s2/
  2. “@WTFLifeFacts: Sex and weed help in preventing migraines” amen.
  3. Religion is like a penis: it's okay to have one and be proud of it, just don't whip it out in public and don't shove it down kids' throats.
  4. @ohyeahpaulchin glad we reunited today! next hangout will include silver snail, dr pepper & ps3 :)
  5. About to reunite with @ohyeahpaulchin
  6. Listening to @machinegunkelly always helps get me through the shittiest days.
  7. Happy 4:20 mafuckas :) #420
  8. @ohyeahpaulchin ok, what time!! I'm off at 7 but could drive down after that.
  9. @ohyeahpaulchin wish I could be there!! Just got off work :(
  10. Recurring nightmares :/ #justwantsomesleep
  11. “I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in bitches. -Will Ferrell” #swag #willferrelwisdom
  12. Just grabbed @machinegunkelly Half Naked and Almost Famous ep; fuckin amazing.
  13. Gettin there.... instagr.am/p/IFjqQrp9py/
  14. Phase 2 instagr.am/p/IFhxxwJ9pR/
  15. We bought everything!! instagr.am/p/IC-DsEp9vS/
  16. Happy Valentines! :) instagr.am/p/G7MFfSJ9p4/
  17. Just posted a photo instagr.am/p/G5_wWvJ9t0/