expat_erin
- Christmas in July? It's bad enough in December!
You fuckin retards.about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
- Wow. 4:30 am. How did that happen?about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
- @RoguePixie just you two wait fr my skincare range. Fucking magical. I promise. I might be drunk. Never you mind.about 13 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to RoguePixie
- We're due at a dinner party in 40 mins. We're getting drunk because of bad news. Business crap, so save your sympathy, everyone's alive.about 13 hours ago from Tweetie
- My boyfriend pretending to be a spider: "LOOK AT MY BUTT! Look at all the stuff coming out of my butt!"
Please note we are in a crowded barabout 13 hours ago from Tweetie
- @indefensible watabout 17 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to indefensible
- Good. Her wardrobe needs an intervention, too. http://bit.ly/Qe82eabout 18 hours ago from Tweetie
- @indefensible that had nothing to do with xanax, you were PISSED http://tinyurl.com/lx8d6pabout 18 hours ago from Tweetie
- @IainnB www.virginactive.com.au no contracts!about 19 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to IainnB
- Hey new gym? You're awesome. BUT. You should serve burgers. Bacon cheeseburgers. Write that down.about 19 hours ago from Tweetie
- Cafe/Internet area at the new gym. Fancy! http://yfrog.com/7gwchxjabout 21 hours ago from Tweetie
- No, iPhone, I did not mean "fantastic". I meant "CANtastic". I'm talking about my boobs, ok?about 21 hours ago from Tweetie
- @lukeayresryan Aw, I'm so sorry! Being stuck in hospital is the pits.about 22 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to lukeayresryan
- @MrsHands that means at least one of you takes it in the doggie door.about 22 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to MrsHands
- This jaunty Mexican music may be exotic here in Australia, but it's just giving me flashbacks to working on my parents' farm in Fresno.about 22 hours ago from Tweetie
- Woman on a rascal-type scooter just repeatedly rammed all the empty tables and chairs then sped away. I love Starbucks.about 22 hours ago from Tweetie
- 2 shots is now standard in a Starbucks tall? About fuckin time!
Not that I, uh, go to Starbucks or anything. So, tall? That's the big one?about 23 hours ago from Tweetie
- @crumpet apparently, waking up on the couch is very traumatizing.6:20 AM Jul 16th from Tweetie in reply to crumpet
- Apparently, when you're on tv after 11pm, talking about the Australian stock market, you don't need makeup. Or a hairstyle. Or a brow wax.6:18 AM Jul 16th from Tweetie
- me: Babe, go to bed!
him: Hmmm?
GO TO BED
Hmmmmufmcouch?
GO TO -oh fuck it.
(4am) him: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ON THE COUCH ALL NIGHT?6:13 AM Jul 16th from Tweetie
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