evrythingmustgo
- Older son is watching first season of The Sopranos. Told him not to get too attached to Big Pussy. He told me to do the same.about 7 hours ago from Birdhouse
- @bpmdone Excellent point!about 9 hours ago from web in reply to bpmdone
- Obama will toss out first ball at All-Star Game tonite. I'd like to see him throw the old Eephus pitch.about 9 hours ago from web
- Loved that Sotomayor said that "We're not robots!" Good work, Sonia! Now they'll never catch on that we're really robots.about 10 hours ago from web
- Kids on Jeopardy Kids Week can totally kick the asses of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader kids. Indian spelling genius kids, look out!about 10 hours ago from web
- From the jokes that write themselves department: Bernie Madoff was moved into a new North Carolina penitentiary located in ... Butner.about 10 hours ago from web
- If you wanna make Cool Ranch Doritos feel bad, just call it Uncool Dude Ranch.about 11 hours ago from Birdhouse
- I hate everything about Bastille Day except for the word "day."about 12 hours ago from web
- More than 1.5 billion apps downloaded from iTunes so far. 1.3 billion have been Moron Test, Shake It Sexy or some version of Pull My Finger.about 12 hours ago from web
- Are headwaiters really okay being called that? And is there like some type of an oral exam to land that gig?about 12 hours ago from Birdhouse
- Sad but true fact: Belching the alphabet stops being funny when you turn 50.about 12 hours ago from Birdhouse
- Idiosyncratic is the friend's way of saying batshit crazy.about 13 hours ago from Tweetie
- If you're gonna RT, just know that this tweet is digitally watermarked.about 13 hours ago from Tweetie
- Didn't know they made a movie of The Kike Runner. Loved that book.about 13 hours ago from Birdhouse
- @sarkastickunt Me too!about 14 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to sarkastickunt
- Cloud computing is genius, but so far, I've only been able to connect to the dark cloud servers.about 14 hours ago from Birdhouse
- J.K. Rowling regrets using the word "snog" and suggests to her young readers that they simply substitute "fuck" wherever it appears.about 14 hours ago from Birdhouse
- A wood-burning oven is great for cooking pizza, but gas is still best for Jews.about 14 hours ago from Birdhouse
- I walk into pizzeria wearing "Your favorite band sucks" T-shirt. Dude asks, "Who's your fav band?" I say Steely Dan. He says, "They suck!"about 15 hours ago from Birdhouse
- I would've been here sooner, but it took me awhile to get by all of the paparazzi.about 15 hours ago from Birdhouse
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- Name Larry Carlat
- Location NYC
- Bio I tweet because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I tweet.
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