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evehorizon

  1. My best quality is professing my love for people after they have moved on. My mom read a lot of Harlequin Romances when I was gestating.
  2. just nominated @blondediva11 for Please Come Back When You are Ready But Sooner is Better
  3. It is so cute how my puppy likes to hide her bones from her loved ones as though they are shameful transgressions. She thinks she's people.
  4. Sometimes I think the reason people like our imperfections in the beginning is for ammunition in the end.
  5. @ashbloem i am so happy they didn't break the window. i can no longer lock the door from the outside, but i can live with that.
  6. @yhf he was actually a democrat until the ned beatty sex scene in deliverance. you can actually witness the transformation to evil on screen
  7. someone tried to break into my car but only succeeded in busting the door handle. i can't even be a victim right.
  8. no one ever picks me out of a lineup. it's like infinite loop adolescence. I'M SORRY UNIVERSE, OK? I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
  9. people are much like mushrooms. a few are very good edibles but those you find close to the road generally contain unhealthy levels of lead.
  10. of all of the people @communicatrix knows, i am by far the most useless. the first thing that goes with sobriety is your memory.
  11. Judging by last night's dream, my heart wishes I were a Class III felon.
  12. My son had a dream that I die on Sunday. Unbeknownst to him, I am supposed to go to Spokane on Sunday. THEY'RE AMONG US
  13. @AngellaD i haven't booked flights yet because i still have to tell @iron_fist that we are making a road trip ;)
  14. @kerrianne i am headed to spokane on sunday, yay snow!
  15. @Iron_Fist it's a good list, but remember that humor is a defense mechanism, in many cases a way of coping with shark extreme genitals.
  16. @Morros it's a fancy word for bong. that or a boston prostitute, i forget.
  17. Call me sentimental, but I always cry at bed wettings.
  18. @gneicco @marcialsantos thanks!
  19. #ff @Morros i'm not sure what it is about portland. it must be something in the hookah water
  20. Know animals were harmed in the making of this pun.