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evehorizon

  1. My best quality is professing my love for people after they have moved on. My mom read a lot of Harlequin Romances when I was gestating. 21 minutes ago from web
  2. just nominated @blondediva11 for Please Come Back When You are Ready But Sooner is Better 40 minutes ago from web
  3. It is so cute how my puppy likes to hide her bones from her loved ones as though they are shameful transgressions. She thinks she's people. about 2 hours ago from web
  4. Sometimes I think the reason people like our imperfections in the beginning is for ammunition in the end. about 10 hours ago from web
  5. @ashbloem i am so happy they didn't break the window. i can no longer lock the door from the outside, but i can live with that. about 11 hours ago from web in reply to ashbloem
  6. @yhf he was actually a democrat until the ned beatty sex scene in deliverance. you can actually witness the transformation to evil on screen about 21 hours ago from web in reply to yhf
  7. someone tried to break into my car but only succeeded in busting the door handle. i can't even be a victim right. about 22 hours ago from web
  8. no one ever picks me out of a lineup. it's like infinite loop adolescence. I'M SORRY UNIVERSE, OK? I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 8:21 PM Nov 14th from web
  9. people are much like mushrooms. a few are very good edibles but those you find close to the road generally contain unhealthy levels of lead. 1:59 PM Nov 14th from web
  10. of all of the people @communicatrix knows, i am by far the most useless. the first thing that goes with sobriety is your memory. 1:57 PM Nov 14th from web
  11. Judging by last night's dream, my heart wishes I were a Class III felon. 9:28 AM Nov 14th from web
  12. My son had a dream that I die on Sunday. Unbeknownst to him, I am supposed to go to Spokane on Sunday. THEY'RE AMONG US 10:00 PM Nov 13th from web
  13. @AngellaD i haven't booked flights yet because i still have to tell @iron_fist that we are making a road trip ;) 3:36 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to AngellaD
  14. @kerrianne i am headed to spokane on sunday, yay snow! 3:11 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to kerrianne
  15. @Iron_Fist it's a good list, but remember that humor is a defense mechanism, in many cases a way of coping with shark extreme genitals. 1:59 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to Iron_Fist
  16. @Morros it's a fancy word for bong. that or a boston prostitute, i forget. 1:52 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to Morros
  17. Call me sentimental, but I always cry at bed wettings. 10:50 AM Nov 13th from web
  18. @gneicco @marcialsantos thanks! 10:48 AM Nov 13th from web in reply to gneicco
  19. #ff @Morros i'm not sure what it is about portland. it must be something in the hookah water 10:47 AM Nov 13th from web
  20. Know animals were harmed in the making of this pun. 9:27 AM Nov 13th from web