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Hostess: "Do you drive a Black Mercedes?" Husband: "No but if you have the keys I can drive it." Dayyyymmmnnn! He got jokes.about 9 hours agovia Twitter for BlackBerry®
I'm changing my RELATIONSHIP STATUS to It's Complicated because we have 4 goddamn remote controls to turn on our stupid TV.about 10 hours agovia web
People with 20,000 followers like to #FF each other. WTH is wrong with you people?about 13 hours agovia web
STF University is a really good name for a school. Some of you should go there.about 13 hours agovia web
National Donut Day should be considered a non-working holiday because after you eat a donut you become lazy and all you want to do is nap.about 17 hours agovia web
Right hand is feeling so much better. First time in 3 wks that I am not wearing a brace. I can go back to punching people in the face again.about 19 hours agovia web
BrianObermillerLet's recap: If your child isn't actually graduating from high school or a real college, it isn't worth sharing on FB.12:16 PM May 31stvia webRetweeted by eugem
thebenbrooksTired of blue skies? Courteous people? Natural beauty? Walking and meaningful conversation? Come to LA!9:25 AM May 31stvia TwidroydPRORetweeted by eugem and 3 others
All my retail store credit cards have been upgraded. I would like to THANK the academy of retail stores for believing in my shopping skills.9:16 AM May 31stvia web