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essdogg

  1. I was just in Wal-Mart and, wow, the people I saw. Somebody should make a website about the people who shop at Wal-Mart.
  2. "Wait, how is he your little brother and your son? Something's wrong with this family." Just playing make-believe, teaching life lessons.
  3. Dear America: There is no reason in the entire universe, nor will there ever be, to start Christmas shopping at 5 a.m. Just stop.
  4. @Daedilus Clearly
  5. It's so adorable how the Canadians are at work pretending like it's just any other Thursday. QUIT TRYING TO FIGHT IT, HOSERS.
  6. Anybody in CHS have CSTV and want to host a Utah/BYU game party Saturday night? :)
  7. @ruthakers Thanks for sharing.
  8. I don't know who's more embarrassed to be seen with the other — Carly Simon or the Care Bears.
  9. @seanhussey I wouldn't have thought such concentrated desecration were possible if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Damn you, Jimmy.
  10. Oneida Nation float is followed by a marching band with a white girl in red, white & blue feather headdress. God bless America.
  11. My niece was drinking a milkshake this morning and I hate you, Twitter.
  12. Wife said she had to use the bathroom. I said I did too so we stopped and now it's my fault we're running late.
  13. Grandpa's stuffing the bird. #ThanksgivingEuphemisms
  14. Hey Adam Lambert, I've never heard you sing and probably wouldn't like it, but I admire you for refusing to apologize for being yourself.
  15. I've been working from home the past three days and have realized THE REST OF THE WORLD IS DOING IT WRONG.
  16. Waking up with hair like Rod Stewart doesn't mean you'll land Stacy's mom, now or ever. *sigh*
  17. @the_dza That's a threat. There has to be some kind of law against Weight Watchers Thanksgiving in Kansas.
  18. @kellyoxford If one person caught it, that's one too many. I'm still shaking off the "honky" I got from Timberlake at Super Bowl '04.
  19. @likaluca You just don't like Bruce because of your Jersey roots. I feel the same way about Donny & Marie. (And, yes, "I'm on Fire" = Win)
  20. My life could use a monetization strategy.