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ericthekrug

  1. @BlakeWexler Well you're sure as shit not talkin' about our dicks! 12:41 PM May 28th via web in reply to BlakeWexler
  2. @oldmanweldon No, even worse -- France (Am I right??!!) 12:40 PM May 28th via web in reply to oldmanweldon
  3. @oldmanweldon @thatRamosgirl Did the Thunder beat the Lakers while I was gone?? America just got a little more welcoming. 4:55 AM May 28th via web in reply to oldmanweldon
  4. "Guys, I just came up with the perfect name for my boner... Surge Veinsbourg" - Hugo 5:23 AM May 22nd via web
  5. I've been sneaking in to all the yacht parties pretending to be a billionaire named Billy Nair. No one's caught on. #thefrencharestupid 4:07 AM May 20th via web
  6. @metronyc @mikewiebe Didn't catch the name, but I'd love it if Bobby D had actually named it Joe Pesci. 4:17 PM May 19th via web in reply to metronyc
  7. Does that answer your question you poor pieces of shit?!?! #cannesfilmfestival 3:50 AM May 19th via web
  8. What's it like at the Cannes Film Festival? Well, I'm watching the A-Team in French & I met Robert DeNiro's dog last night (not joking). 3:49 AM May 19th via web
  9. Kind of surprises me that VP Joe Biden speaking out in support for gay marriage made more headlines than VP Dick Cheney saying it. 12:17 PM May 9th via web
  10. Tonight at The Velv with Lucas Molandes & friends! Monday night at the Rattle Inn with a bunch of other comics! (not friends) 4:23 PM May 5th via web
  11. Dropped my phone in the toilet. Luckily its broken cuz I dont want to know if I’m a guy who’d keep a urine-covered phone just to save money. 10:35 AM Apr 30th via web
  12. “Ain’t you mutha fuckers ever played Tetris before?!” – me upset with how my roommates loaded the dishwasher. 8:42 AM Apr 26th via web
  13. @kmwengler See - the video looks fine. Now the question is, why wasn't I showered with pussy?!? 10:08 PM Apr 22nd via web in reply to kmwengler
  14. There's a lesbian sitting across from me at the airport wearing a t-shirt that says "I Enjoy Vagina" ... Talk amongst yourselves. 3:50 AM Apr 22nd via txt
  15. Damnit.. I came *this close* to making it out of Portland without diarrhea. 1:00 PM Apr 16th via web
  16. "Action Jackson" features cameo appearances from 3 cast members of Predator & 4 from Die Hard, yet did not get 1 Oscar nomination (???) 1:33 PM Apr 9th via web
  17. Yo, bitches be lovin' Murder She Wrote. 12:07 PM Apr 9th via txt
  18. I know I drank too much when I wake up saying, "Bro -- did I download 'The Last Temptation Of Christ' last night??" 9:20 AM Apr 2nd via web
  19. The only thing more depressing than seeing fat Skylar on Breaking Bad is seeing fat Betty Draper on Mad Men. 7:30 PM Apr 1st via txt