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epochblue

  1. If you ask me, the Mayan calendar ends on Dec 21, 2012 because they got tired of writing.
  2. Ludacris was on to something. If you must have multiple hoes, the least you can do is keep them in different area codes.
  3. When you start thinking 'I need to cut my fingernails' is a perfectly valid excuse to take a break, your workday is already a lost cause.
  4. Somehow, I walked into a liquor store, bought 6 bottles of liquor, and still left with a to-buy list longer than the one I started with.
  5. I didnt realize today was "Bring Your Slowest Employee To Work" Day...
  6. I'm not buying this Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon business. These commercials don't sync up at all.
  7. A subtle, but important distinction: your coffee should taste "earthy", not "like dirt".
  8. OH in the office: "Yeah. That'll teach him to blow in my ear while I'm peeing."
  9. The towels in this hotel are just soft enough to be used as low-grit sandpaper.
  10. Oh my, it feels nice out. So nice out I just might leave it out all day.
  11. Girls have Halloween easy: they just wear less and call it a "sexy" something. I went for Sexy Cowboy. I look absurd in these assless chaps.
  12. If you want to see someone struggle to get things done, just watch me try to do work on a Friday afternoon.
  13. Double cappuccinos as good as the one @cremacrema made me earlier should be illegal. For everyone but me, of course.
  14. @blm849 "intelligent user comments" are a lot like dodo birds: they existed once, but we're pretty sure they're extinct now.
  15. Man am I glad she passed...I had *no idea* what I was going to say to her if she didn't.
  16. RT @caldwell: I fought the law and I KICKED ITS ASS! (passed the Tennessee bar)
  17. "You know how people say never to go grocery shopping with a buzz?" ..... "What? People don't say that?"
  18. @al3x I think you grossly over estimate the coolness of the typical Tumblr user...
  19. Furniture you have to build yourself is just LEGOs for adults.
  20. I ran 14363m before my wife threatened to divorce me because I won't stop playing this game. http://www.canabalt.com/