eoporto
- Impromptu Taco Wednesday.
Because tacos taste better than alliteration.about 7 hours ago from web
- I'm a great cook and have predictable music taste. How am I single?3:35 PM Jul 14th from web
- Owowowowowowow.
Short dresses and leather car seats are an unpleasant reminder that my skin is sensitive.9:42 AM Jul 14th from TinyTwitter
- Running late and looking like a mess. Poor @abigvictory has to sit through lunch with me anyway.8:45 AM Jul 14th from TwitterBerry
- No, I did not injure myself opening a box of Cheerios. That'd be ridiculous.
Ok, fine. I did. It's part of my charm?6:08 AM Jul 14th from TinyTwitter
- Quick scan of my healthy grocery cart tells me I better brace for a punch to the cooter.
I'm not even going to tell you what's for dinner4:00 PM Jul 13th from TinyTwitter
- The scent of Subway bread induces a nausea so powerful, it makes me wonder if I'm pregnant.2:09 PM Jul 13th from TinyTwitter
- You'd think that it'd only take once to learn "Ice coffee as a breakfast replacement, heart palpitations by lunch."
You'd be wrong.8:20 AM Jul 13th from web
- My bug classification system is simple:
- Dead
- Not dead yet.9:12 AM Jul 12th from TinyTwitter
- Worst case, I'll pick up my next boyfriend at the Italian deli, because my antipasto ordering skills bring all the boys to the yard.11:42 AM Jul 11th from TinyTwitter
- My car might be tinier than yours, but you really don't want to underestimate how much of a dick I can be.11:56 AM Jul 10th from TinyTwitter
- Here's hoping that this necklace will somehow save me from looking like a total disaster.7:54 AM Jul 10th from web
- "Hi, I'm Elizabeth. This is Bridget and Maureen"
We sound like the opening for a movie about wayward Irish girls in 1954.5:47 PM Jul 9th from TinyTwitter
- I commonly misspell genius.
I attribute this to my overwhelming need to be modest.12:37 PM Jul 9th from web
- Well, apparently they still make short-sleeved turtlenecks.
More odd is that anyone is actually wearing them.5:03 AM Jul 9th from TinyTwitter
- There's a reason Crayola decided on "Sunshine," not "Jaundiced."9:44 PM Jul 8th from TinyTwitter
- It's a good thing this stylist assistant's name isn't androgynous, because everything else about him is girly.6:30 AM Jul 8th from TinyTwitter
- @tweeteorites Please enable timelines for me on http://tweeteorites.com/
Hope you're worth it.6:26 AM Jul 8th from web
- Tuesday nights do not inspire sane, attractive people to go out.
Whoops.6:37 PM Jul 7th from TinyTwitter
- Well, apparently it IS a thing. Damn you @JephKelley, for crushing my moment of grape-induced genuis.3:22 PM Jul 7th from web
|
- Name Elizabeth Oporto
- Location New York
- Bio i drink beer. and wear a watch.
|
