endlessjoe
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It's 1 am, and instead of sleeping, I'm lying in bed thinking of words I hate saying. Currently in the lead: "sherbet"
about 3 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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I remember when Youtube was a community of people with ideas. Now, it's just one hour loops of people wrecking on skateboards and shit.
about 7 hours ago
via Echofon
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When I first moved in here, I thought the Fred Schneider hologram was a cool amenity for this apartment to have. I was dead wrong.
about 8 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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Isn't Twitter a keen place to be silly and amusing?
about 9 hours ago
via web
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Americans' heads are apparently growing larger as their hearts and minds shrink relentlessly
about 10 hours ago
via web
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"I'll never be that brave," I muttered to myself, as I watched a pigeon eat an old band-aid.
10:19 AM May 23rd
via Favstar.FM
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A mosquito just bit me right on the bridge of the nose, so I don't believe in love anymore.
about 13 hours ago
via web
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If you need me, I'll be eating a sandwich in the rain, dancing like a caffeinated toddler against the weight of the world.
about 13 hours ago
via web
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@ Ha. Thanks a ton, brudda
about 14 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
in reply to dirtyinvincible
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Fart inside of a McDonald's playpen. Free your mind.
about 16 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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@ I much prefer the audiobook. It's 941 CD's. Narrated by Don Knotts. Absolutely stirring.
4:11 PM May 30th
via web
in reply to polksalad
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Just found out that chicken jelly is real. Between that & seeing photos of eaten face guy today, I don't know what to believe in anymore.
12:38 PM May 30th
via web
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Walked past this today and it startled me. The arrow leads to a gloryhole encrusted in human blood.
9:52 AM May 30th
via Twitter for Android
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Well, @'s car got broken into tonight, but I just lost 2 Twitter followers, so .... who's the real victim here?!
11:37 PM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
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Just poured peroxide into my gaping & presumably infected elbow hole so that I might live to see the harvest!
11:21 PM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
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@ Nah, man. Look for "hugs" in the username, animated gif avatar, intentional misspellings, all lowercase tweets.
11:14 PM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to jaklocke
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Hipster fashion gets a lot of flak, but I think the hipster Twitter account is far more worthy of our collective derision.
6:06 PM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
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The "clever tweets" portion of my brain has been blocked off today by silent rage and Popeye's chicken.
2:34 PM May 29th
via web
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@ "You eat like this! YOU EAT LIKE THIS!" as we mash his face in Alpo, ruining his backwards baseball cap.
11:48 AM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to GoeDaddyGoe
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@ I think it was about that meat-head who mean mugged us in the parking lot. We turned it gay & aggressive on him.
11:46 AM May 29th
via web
in reply to GoeDaddyGoe
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- Name Joe Cardosi
- Location New Orleans
- Web http://www.youtub...
- Bio I like my coffee black and my parole denied
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