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Wow. I'm so desperate to get to over 100 followers I considered, for a moment, not blocking @joeschmittt. Then I came to my senses. |
Dear future self: when you finally receive this tweet hours from now, make a twitter failure joke before it's too late! |
Dear future self: when you finally receive this tweet hours from now, make a twitter failure joke before it's too late! |
Dear future self: when you finally receive this tweet hours from now, make a twitter failure joke before it's too late! |
Dear future self: when you finally receive this tweet hours from now, make a twitter failure joke before it's too late! |
Me: "You can come into this room if you'd like, dog."
Dog: "GAH I CAN'T TOO SCARY I GUESS I'LL JUST WHINE AT THE THRESHOLD OOPS PEEING NOW." |
I can't do the twitter "converse with your dog" thing because my dog is neurotic and OCD. |
Does the phrase "heart-to-heart talk" work when the subject of the aforementioned talk is feces? Wouldn't that be "ass-to-ass"? |
Gawd I wish Twitter would stop having amnesia. Of course, Twitter might just be making a point not to remember me when I beg "Remember Me!" |
When Armstrong gets all testy they call him Hormonal One-Ball-Lance. |
The Northwest will continue to get ungodly amounts of snow dumped on them until they admit they spend too much on coffee and ironic beards. |
How do I keep the spice in my life? Well, every day I use a new part of my towel to dry off my asscrack! |
Really excited for the Thinkers BUT NO FUCKING DOERS Conference 09. There's a whole daylong session on Eyebrow Raising as Expression. |
This stream brought to you by the soothing scent of Glade brand air fresheners. Impossible to fart anything but blossoms!™
You can't do it!... |
@theimpulsivebuy Definitely tell him about Rolando, the best game for the platform yet. Deep Green is great chess and Trism is puzzly. |
The great thing about Spaces in Leopard is I can dedicate a whole "Space" to porn!
And another one to shame! |
HOLY SHIT @HOTDOGSLADIES MENTIONED MY CITY'S NAME IN A BLOG POST. DRINKS ALL AROUND! |
If we ever ran out of balsamic vinegar in this house, all the food would taste like shit. Or less like balsamic vinegar. Look, I'm no cook. |
@shortyawards I nominate @joeschmitt in #humor and now I can't make fun of the awards anymore considering I just fucked up at this TWICE. |
Okay, so it's really a verb plus a direct object plus a preposition. MY RAGE REMAINS. |
