emmets
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If only there were a way to disseminate this funny "If only there were a way" joke and if only oh god time warp.
10:59 AM Sep 20th
from Tweetie
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Dear douchebag eating out with his family but still wearing a fucking earpiece: you're not promoting much synergy with your three kids.
7:44 PM Aug 13th
from Birdhouse
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It's is humid in Boston. Humid humid HUMID.
No, ma'am, I do not want a moist towelette. THE AIR IS MY MOIST TOWELETTE.
1:59 PM Aug 10th
from Birdhouse
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In The Heights: Absolutely amazing not just for the score, dancing, rapping, singing but also as a love letter to NYC, best city on Earth.
8:27 PM Aug 9th
from Birdhouse
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OH at Yankees Stadium when Ortiz goes up to bat: "STICK A NEEDLE IN YOUR ASS."
5:29 PM Aug 7th
from Tweetie
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Also: the boombox that dude was carrying? Bigger than the "plane" I took to Denver.
2:54 PM Aug 7th
from Birdhouse
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Hey dude carrying the huge boombox through Times Square? The 70s called and I couldn't even hear them over the 50 Cent you were blaring.
2:50 PM Aug 7th
from Birdhouse
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Still can't believe the giant rotating lobster sign at the Times Square Red Lobster is bigger than the "plane" I flew in to Denver.
11:00 AM Aug 7th
from Birdhouse
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Guess where I am? Hint: I just saw a black guy try — and fail — to get a taxi.
2:30 PM Aug 6th
from Tweetie
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To the person who has occupied the front-car bathroom for the entire duration of my 4 hour train ride: My heart goes out to you.
12:18 PM Aug 5th
from Tweetie
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TRADE: Give me a holographic Japanese Charizard card and I'll give you 15 reasons why a piece of paper and foil shouldn't be worth hundreds.
9:32 AM Aug 5th
from Birdhouse
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One of the extremely hairy Tarmac workers at Denver Airport is wearing a cowboy hat. Keep it cowboy, Denver.
3:13 PM Aug 4th
from Birdhouse
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Got a few hours to kill before next flight. I hope it's a real plane this time instead of a couple of jets bolted to a PT Cruiser.
1:55 PM Aug 4th
from Birdhouse
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Landed in Denver, city of copious body hair.
1:46 PM Aug 4th
from Birdhouse
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Hey, lone flight attendant? You really don't need the intercom. I'm sure the other three people on this "plane" can hear you just fine.
1:18 PM Aug 4th
from Birdhouse
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Whoa, whoa, wait. THAT'S my plane? It's like a stretch Hummer with wings.
10:58 AM Aug 4th
from Tweetie
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You know when you get into a car that has been baking in the sun all day?
Today's like that, only EVERYWHERE and with NO A/C.
12:40 PM Aug 2nd
from Tweetie
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This is how hot it is:
You cannot cook an egg on the pavement. Because the pavement is ON FIRE.
5:03 PM Jul 27th
from Tweetie
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I can't do anything impressive with my tongue.
Ladies.
...Ladies?
12:34 PM Jul 18th
from Tweetie
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@ Alright let's do this:
1:51 PM Jul 16th
from Tweetie
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- Name Emmet
- Location Eastern Washington (the state)
- Bio Recommends Windows Vista Ultimate
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