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Taxis remind me of that creepy old guy at the bar trying desperately to make eye contact. Yeah, I see you, I'm just not interested.3:52 AM May 19thvia Twitter for iPhone
Just watched a homeless man relieve himself on a table in Starbucks. Is there a foursquare badge for that?4:37 AM May 18thvia web
If the number of minutes you wait for the elevator is higher than your floor number, I feel justified in judging you.3:05 PM May 16thvia Twitter for iPhone
There's no faster way to kill a lady boner than finishing off your Brooks Brothers suit with Vibrams.5:58 AM May 15thvia Twitter for iPhone
Suicidal gnat dive-bombs my coffee. After a moment of silence, I continue to drink it. Difference between us? The gnat's dignity is intact.4:32 AM May 7thvia web