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Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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emmaubroberts

  1. Browbeaten. bit.ly/Km2qEm
  2. I hate it when I think I've discovered a secret gem and then find out that bitch Chloe got there first. twitter.com/emmaubroberts/…
  3. Proud to be the blackberry in this caravan of tipsy glamour. RT @megrue: Champagne Sunday with @emmaubroberts instagr.am/p/LIq9EVhrWa/
  4. Removing nasty old polish before a pedicure is the beauty equivalent of cleaning before the maid comes, isn't it? Dammit. #becomingmymother
  5. @gnomeoftheroad Tell me about it. I just witnessed lederhosen AND a Donnie Darko bunny mask. Traumatized.
  6. Tokyo Tel Aviv at @vicsbagelbar: lox/wasabi/scallions/edamame, IN cream cheese, ON bagel. Is this what Pitbull meant by international love?
  7. Taxis remind me of that creepy old guy at the bar trying desperately to make eye contact. Yeah, I see you, I'm just not interested.
  8. Just watched a homeless man relieve himself on a table in Starbucks. Is there a foursquare badge for that?
  9. There is no hunger more acutely dehumanizing than crowded subway hunger.
  10. @madclairerob Twitter regularly suggests that I follow Weight Watchers. #peasinapod...or should I say #twinkiesinawrapper?
  11. I want to write a book about sexy crafting and call it Collage à Trois. (Alternate title: Me Sew Horny.)
  12. If the number of minutes you wait for the elevator is higher than your floor number, I feel justified in judging you.
  13. There's no faster way to kill a lady boner than finishing off your Brooks Brothers suit with Vibrams.
  14. @cornedbeef Is that Mei Mei?! RIP.
  15. @kbweber Seconded. Try making it with mashed avocado instead of mayo. It will BLOW YA MIND.
  16. Suicidal gnat dive-bombs my coffee. After a moment of silence, I continue to drink it. Difference between us? The gnat's dignity is intact.