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EffingBoring

  1. A friend said of my boyfriend "he's pretty much you with a penis." That's sweet, but a *good* friend would have known *I'm* me with a penis. 8:32 PM Dec 23rd from Brizzly
  2. This dinner is the terrible aftermath of a standoff between my dislike of spinach and my dislike of wasting food. 5:31 PM Dec 20th from Brizzly
  3. With the boys both out of town, I'm giving Foul Bachelor Frog a run for his money. Fuck the glass ceiling! (wipe it up with a dirty sock) 4:22 PM Dec 19th from Brizzly
  4. Aw, come on! Where are my Tweeps who are knowledgeable about Islam and also Simpsons fans and also in the Christmas spirit? 2:24 PM Dec 17th from Brizzly
  5. ♪ Issa it's your birthday / Happy birthday Issa! ♫ 1:21 PM Dec 17th from Brizzly
  6. After a year, the biggest complaint I have about my aluminum MacBook is how frikkin' cold it is on my bare thighs. 11:02 AM Dec 17th from Brizzly
  7. @drw all beardinesses welcome. 9:26 PM Dec 16th from Brizzly in reply to drw
  8. Thanks for all the suggestions! Just for safety's sake, I'll probably delete that tweet, not that your mom reads my Twitter stream anyway. 12:08 PM Dec 16th from Brizzly
  9. Any of you real swarthy dudes out there have a go-to product that makes shaving suck less? It's a Christmas gift, but I won't say for whom. 11:49 AM Dec 16th from Brizzly
  10. Actually know me IRL? I possibly have an extra ticket to The Colbert Report. DM/@ & be willing to meet my mom. Hell's Kitchen, 4:30 LATEST 8:53 AM Dec 16th from Brizzly
  11. @inrgbwetrust Hand to God! It was a crappy plan for me, too: dudes were too busy trying to summon the balls to compliment girls' dresses ;) 10:16 AM Dec 15th from Brizzly in reply to inrgbwetrust
  12. @inrgbwetrust Come on, *every* lungful? In high school, I would have frenched you sooner for quoting a Monty Python deep track. Swoon! 7:40 PM Dec 14th from Brizzly in reply to inrgbwetrust
  13. I can't believe I used "Many Bothans died to bring us prices this insane" so early in my Twitter career. Sigh. 11:26 PM Dec 12th from Brizzly
  14. Why a sweatsuit but not a sweatdress or a sensible sweatskirt with coordinating sweatblazer? Stupid patriarchy. 2:05 PM Dec 11th from Brizzly
  15. Jesus Christ. Am *I* having an affair with Tiger Woods? I used to think I knew, but now I'm not so sure. 2:46 PM Dec 9th from Brizzly
  16. I've officially lived in New York long enough to lose any sense of whether this outfit looks ridiculous. 2:30 PM Dec 9th from Brizzly
  17. Have all the cool kids started denouncing this as lame yet? http://bit.ly/4w12X5 I'll answer on Tumblr. 9:15 AM Dec 8th from Brizzly
  18. @multagonal If someone blocks you for saying you appreciate them, they didn't deserve you anyway. Just sayin'. 11:01 AM Dec 6th from web in reply to multagonal
  19. Thanks endlessy for helping me find true friends and great times. You absolutely did the right thing. #thankyoutextism 11:00 AM Dec 6th from Brizzly
  20. I [separate but equal] NY 2:05 PM Dec 2nd from Brizzly