enovella
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my brother fell in love with the girl next door. Too bad we lived beside a reform school.
10:00 PM Apr 2nd, 2011
via web
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My mom always told me to be myself, that way, if someone doesn't like me, then they don't like me for me.
12:33 PM Mar 21st, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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M.A.S.H 2011. Hawkeye Pierce faces joint sexual harrassment suit filed by the nurses.
1:35 AM Mar 4th, 2011
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Why does my brother where a suit when he has to go to court? Is it so none of the witnesses can recognise him?
7:06 PM Mar 2nd, 2011
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Damn, spilt grape juice on me. If I can't learn how to use a cup properly, they're going to take away my license for it.
2:36 AM Feb 25th, 2011
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my uncle's hair must have lost a batle, because it keeps retreating up his forehead.
3:53 PM Feb 17th, 2011
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was not thought up by hallmark, but my chocolate manufacturers who make a fortune off all the miserable, single people.
11:20 PM Feb 13th, 2011
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I wonder if they're testing for red cordial and jelly beans this year at the sports carnival.
1:58 AM Feb 11th, 2011
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The effort should not be in making kids eat less chips and fatty foods, but making the chips and fatty foods less bad for you.
1:57 AM Feb 9th, 2011
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Show and tell. I brought in a walkman. The teacher wrote AA. I asked if that was my grade, she said it was the batteries I had needed.
12:59 PM Jan 30th, 2011
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They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Too bad I have to take on Steve with a 2B pencil.
10:05 PM Jan 22nd, 2011
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Ants! I hate ants! Why couldn't I have stepped in a nest of ladybugs?
3:45 PM Jan 22nd, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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winning a trophey at the end of the season was sort of diminished when I found out that it was covered in the admin cost at the beginning.
10:57 PM Jan 20th, 2011
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On my report card my teacher put AA. I asked her if that was one better than A. She said it was one worse than Z.
10:47 PM Jan 19th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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It’s embarrassing whittling a block of butter because you're parents won't let you use anything sharp.
10:15 PM Jan 15th, 2011
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My mother has a whole shelf of books dedicated to the art of decluttering
11:18 PM Dec 31st, 2010
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@ I wish I had the Don Quixote home video game. I would love to tilt at those windmills with the Wii remote.
9:43 PM Dec 29th, 2010
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in reply to redneckmommy
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I would have been a movie star if Macaulay Culkin hadn't taken all the roles for an underweight nerd.
1:30 AM Dec 27th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Yes, I left cookies and a glass of milk out for Santa Claus. Well, how was I meant to know he was lactose intolerant?
11:41 AM Dec 23rd, 2010
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I hope doesn't requistion my twitter profile when trying to work out if I've been this year.
1:51 AM Dec 22nd, 2010
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- Name Ashley
- Bio Sometimes I wish I could have stayed a little kid forever. Growing up is hard, and unfortunately it doesn’t get easier. Here are some of the lessons I've learnt
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