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dysolution

  1. I have to admit I was on the fence before I walked into the bar, but that stranger's overbearing chaotic rambling totally sold me on Jesus.
  2. @CrackBarbie I'd be more concerned about the fact that it's coming out as steam.
  3. @SmartyFiles 10W-30.
  4. Predictably, Zach eventually succumbed to severe Lego depression.
  5. Overfilling your deep fryer could cause a fire. To measure the oil needed, first fill it with water and completely submerge the clown.
  6. If you don't quit using that prefix for Internet-related things I'm going to cyberstab you in the cyberthroat with my cyberpen.
  7. @joesmithreally I probably don't want to know where you got the yeast.
  8. @commanda Good luck finding someone who isn't afraid to commit, though.
  9. @commanda Sounds like it's time to fork.
  10. @vmarinelli Happy birthday!
  11. I should buy stock in Rolaids. I can't believe how quickly I go through them considering how few I can cram up in there at once.
  12. @joesmithreally Do the nixed nuts have you mourning wood?
  13. @joesmithreally You're cut off, buddy.
  14. Waiting for you to justify my fudge.
  15. @PhilDarnowsky I believe that one's already available as "Skank," available at Walgreens, next to the AXE products.
  16. Marketing my new fragrance Eau D'Office. It's an exotic mix of B.O., burnt microwave popcorn, and despair.
  17. It's handy to be able to look back through my tweets and see the rise and fall of my mood and humor. Handy and sad.
  18. Animated avatars are the new <MARQUEE>.
  19. @SmartyFiles You am them?
  20. When does the exercise montage kick in? I've been drinking raw eggs for days, but nothing's happening. Well, nothing good.