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dysolution

  1. I have to admit I was on the fence before I walked into the bar, but that stranger's overbearing chaotic rambling totally sold me on Jesus. about 3 hours ago from web
  2. @CrackBarbie I'd be more concerned about the fact that it's coming out as steam. about 6 hours ago from web in reply to crackbarbie
  3. @SmartyFiles 10W-30. about 8 hours ago from web in reply to SmartyFiles
  4. Predictably, Zach eventually succumbed to severe Lego depression. about 9 hours ago from web
  5. Overfilling your deep fryer could cause a fire. To measure the oil needed, first fill it with water and completely submerge the clown. about 12 hours ago from web
  6. If you don't quit using that prefix for Internet-related things I'm going to cyberstab you in the cyberthroat with my cyberpen. about 13 hours ago from web
  7. @joesmithreally I probably don't want to know where you got the yeast. about 19 hours ago from web in reply to joesmithreally
  8. @commanda Good luck finding someone who isn't afraid to commit, though. about 20 hours ago from web
  9. @commanda Sounds like it's time to fork. 6:47 PM Nov 24th from DestroyTwitter in reply to commanda
  10. @vmarinelli Happy birthday! 6:19 PM Nov 24th from web
  11. I should buy stock in Rolaids. I can't believe how quickly I go through them considering how few I can cram up in there at once. 6:01 PM Nov 24th from web
  12. @joesmithreally Do the nixed nuts have you mourning wood? 5:57 PM Nov 24th from DestroyTwitter in reply to joesmithreally
  13. @joesmithreally You're cut off, buddy. 4:40 PM Nov 24th from web in reply to joesmithreally
  14. Waiting for you to justify my fudge. 2:46 PM Nov 24th from web
  15. @PhilDarnowsky I believe that one's already available as "Skank," available at Walgreens, next to the AXE products. 1:24 PM Nov 24th from web in reply to PhilDarnowsky
  16. Marketing my new fragrance Eau D'Office. It's an exotic mix of B.O., burnt microwave popcorn, and despair. 1:18 PM Nov 24th from web
  17. It's handy to be able to look back through my tweets and see the rise and fall of my mood and humor. Handy and sad. 10:53 AM Nov 24th from web
  18. Animated avatars are the new <MARQUEE>. 8:46 AM Nov 24th from web
  19. @SmartyFiles You am them? 11:12 AM Nov 23rd from web in reply to SmartyFiles
  20. When does the exercise montage kick in? I've been drinking raw eggs for days, but nothing's happening. Well, nothing good. 8:28 AM Nov 23rd from web