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dynamoe

  1. Fuck it, I'm moving to LA.
  2. Sarah Palin ate 68 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
  3. @Mirroranne No no no! Kitten studies! We'll be reading second-hand accounts. Kitten literature. Kitten theory.
  4. I'm going back to grad school to get my Master's in Applied Kitten Studies. There's a lot of exciting new perspectives in the field.
  5. @MKupperman "To Catch A Mattress-Label Remover"
  6. @MKupperman I like my shows timid and undramatic. I prefer "To Catch A Jaywalker"
  7. @MKupperman I wish Alan Alda had been in Body Heat
  8. @MKupperman That's an odd namecheck. I always go with Mary Kay Letourneau when it comes to lady-kidtouchers
  9. Attention domain pirates and squatters...My ten year domain lease on nobodyssweetheart.com is about to expire.
  10. @jessicastickles More than anything... it has HEART!
  11. I practice X-treme sleeping. There is a lot of kickflips.
  12. Trending topics you've finally caught up with me. Can't stop the twittering about the Boston Pops! So many BoPop tweets!
  13. Resist Despair! #realityshowpitches
  14. Where's That Smell Coming From? #realityshowpitches
  15. @jessicastickles Don't let Kevin Cragg hear that... his one-man-show version is transcendent!
  16. I'm going to go buy some cigarettes and take up smoking. I've been meaning to for a while.
  17. I can hear the fireworks. They sound very patriotic and explodey. Also exactly like every thunderstorm we've had for the last month.
  18. I found a surprise root beer in the fridge! Maybe that will take the taste of vomit and soap out of my mouth.
  19. @HejlHavok I think most people want Garrison Keillor fed into a wood chipper.
  20. It's FARGO meets A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION #worstpitchesever